Don Scrumbo

If you watch porn videos in vertical you’re a degenerate

She micro my plastic till I Doug Dimmadome

Cats love to leave you with no choice

If I could suck my own dick I would.

What if VSauce was lying this whole time?

The pooping on the toilet to washing your hands pipeline

My poop smells like SHIT!

But my wife’s poop STINKS!

You know which one is worse.

If ur fucking ur ex that’s not your ex it’s your

Scrumbopolis cryptids are not frightening. Take Splendor Man! His aura lights up the forest at night. If you get lost he can guide you home

They should call it “Feet Ball” because you need both geet

If there are only 2 sexes then it makes sense why there’s not enough to go arou

Do tha blue man group got blue penis?

Asking for a police sketch artist

“Gianna Michaels”

Happy Mother’s Day!

Wtf you mean “Reefer Madness” has nothing to do with the global climate crisis’ effect on our ocean’s coral reefs

I hate going on porn subreddits and the captions are like “blue necklace” “nice watch” “what a sunse-“ bro do you not see the boobies? Let’s talk about those okay?

If you wave your dick at traffic in Scrumbopolis they wave back!

I am the mayor president of a prestigious city, I built my empire on negging you buffoon

Enjoy jokes loser

Fake 😔

The smell of crayons > vagina

Bitcoin? Yeah I wanted to make sure it was real

Penciling my wife in for sex not because we’re doing a workplace roleplay, but because we are so busy with the kids that if we don’t it won’t happen

I’m 60% dinner rn

“Mooom can we go be sad on a lawn with flowers?”

Mom: “we have sad at home”

The sad at home:

This and crankin’ it

I’ll make a few extra hundred bucks in overtime and start looking into my options to finance a new bathroom

The magic mirror in Scrumbopolis always tells a non-winning lottery number.

So if it says my numbers, I know not to play!

Do we make poop?

Or do we set it free?