Jennifer

This is such a good post I gotta make sure to like it on every platform

ICYMI: Luana shares the impact of scoring such a meaningful goal

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How much of the Canberra game do y’all think I can watch in the stadium parking lot before the parking people want me to fuck off

Marta is my age and my hamstring hurts from walking around Epcot yesterday

of course it’s five minutes

Please NWSL broadcasters, I beg you, offer a "so you actually LIKE soccer???" alt-cast that is focused on presenting the visual and audio info needed to watch soccer, with no extra distractions.

Let me see clearly who has been substituted or booked! Save me from pre-filmed in-game distractions!

also why has this weird cloud of white smoke been hanging here forever

The ref’s a fucking twat, we hate this douche a lot…

ITS NOT A GOOD TIME

Also, who the fuck is running a two-stroke motor, it reeks like a dirt bike track in here

Who the fuck is this ref lmao he’s going on my shit list

“Eat a dick” and “ref you suck” are the same number of syllables

regrettably yes

Just saying, even if we win, there’s no chance in hell I’m ever going back to Kansas City again for any reason ever

It’s too early in the game more shit’s gonna happen

Ref can get fucked by all the furry kids on OBT for EDC

been dreading this game all week so let’s just do it already pls

I’m sitting in standstill traffic just to get to downtown Orlando

the Epcot ball lit up in a gradient of purple, red, orange, yellow

the hottest girl in school

didn’t see the cat again but something ate the food while we were at Epcot

A team spokesperson has relayed that Ally Watt had a procedure to repair meniscus and will be unavailable for the remainder of the season.

And I can't find a media email, team announcement, or mention in the game notes of Ally Watt being added to the D45 list, but being added at this point in the season means she's unable to come off before the Championship

#ORLvSEA NWSL Playoff Availability Report

Orlando Pride
OUT: Barbra Banda (SEI), Kylie Nadaner (excused), Ally Watt (D45 – knee), Summer Yates (lower leg)
???: Simone Charley (head)

Seattle Reign
OUT: Lynn Biyendolo (ML), Veronica Latsko (SEI), Cassie Miller (D45), Olivia Van der Jagt (excused)

“What is the charge? Eating a sandwich? A succulent Subway sandwich?"

my parents want to go to Epcot tonight so I guess I’m watching the Tigres game on my phone later

A 2 panel meme - the top panel is an older woman screaming “why can’t you just be normal?!” The bottom panel is a small child with the NWSL logo edited over his face with a “*screams*” caption

Presented without comment

I would be glad to hand it to her, and by "it" I of course mean a bag of steaming dog shit fresh off the sidewalk

Just saw a black cat outside my window but it was gone when I went outside so I left it some food and water under the bushes 🙁

I mostly don’t have the attention span for podcasts unfortunately 😭