Michael (top 1.7% of all Michaels)

tbh we should all get to tell a white lie for fun every once in a while, as a little treat for surviving through the collapse of American hegemony

not to be a “my man my man” ass bitch but he did his big one last night 😵‍💫😵‍💫

reallllllll

Often mistaken for standoffish because I’m quiet and shy, but it is what it is

don’t really want to be Fr*nch but nobody is perfect

“whats your dream in life?”

i want to be Princess Belle (hot + autistic, reads for a living, rich husband)

deal

missed another BGB skeet-and-delete should i kms???

the letters “th”:

Maillard was cooking when he invented that reaction

microneedling, taking a gummy, + talking shit on a group facetime has fixed me, psychiatrically

you know half these fags can’t read a physical book why would you set them up to fail like that 😭

it’s that time of year again!

depends - requiem for a dream (existential), Us (psychological), or sinister (supernatural)

iced chudai latte, extra foam

happy birthday!!!

TO THIS DAY!!!

need a beefy he/they with moderate executive dysfunction to come bounce on it crazy-style

accidentally used “cruzar” instead of “juntar” or “encontrar” to talk about a short hallway meeting with a coworker

care to share with the class? 🤭

gotta make use of it somehow

discovered my bf’s alt twitter and found out he has unfortunately made chudai posts 😔

Homer Simpson asleep smiling and at peace

knowing the rapture is tomorrow

AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT

AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT: “You have turned on the big light. Please turn the big light back off. We have small lights, lamps with shades, for your convenience. They do not make me angry like the big light does.”

“a wrinkle in time”-coded skeet

many such cases :(

A little sweaty. Whos gonna wipe me off though?

i need my turn 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️