Be gentle w/ yourself around the trauma symptom of decision paralysis. The problem is not that you don't have enough pressure or shame to get yourself to act. It's usually the opposite: you don't feel like you have enough safety or support.

Try softer, not harder.

You did not lack "character" or "toughness" or intelligence. You lacked safety, support, & realistic tools.

Extending yourself grace is not about "making excuses"-- it's acknowledging reality. You're not "the exception" who "should" have been able to figure it out"on your own.

Same guy who declared bankruptcy 6 times shut down the U.S. government 4 times in 5 years of being President. They wanted him to run the government like his businesses and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

You get to feel & want things & identify in ways that would break your parents' heart. The purpose of your life is not to be someone who they would always accept, or even understand.

It's real important to our recovery we not let their limitations lead us to deny our reality.

"Choices" aren't real choices when we've been so heavily conditioned by trauma that we are blind to our options and resources.

Questions like "Why didn't you leave?" & "Why did you keep repeating those patterns?" assume agency that we literally don't comprehend when we're down the rabbit hole.

It shouldn't have been on you as a kid to figure out how to reach out for help or express your pain in ways that would get appropriately responded to by the adults in your life.

It WAS on them to not punish or embarrass you for reaching out or expressing yourself.

It’s always inherited trauma and never inherited Gothic castle in the Transylvanian mountains.

It takes so much more courage than many realize to challenge the story we were told about ourselves by our bullies & abusers. We were conditioned to believe we'd be "in trouble" for believing anything but the worst about ourselves.

Swapping in a new story after years takes guts.

There is nothing "wrong" w/ us just because we struggle to directly communicate when we're upset. We're responding to conditioning that resulted from real experiences in our past.

Realistically moving past it requires patience, not pressure-- from ourselves & others.

"Plan A" didn't work out for anybody reading this (or the person writing this). Our trauma is going to try to convince us that means we "can't" create a life worth living-- but all it actually means is that Plan A didn't work.

We are still alive, & there are 25 other letters.

From the Montreal Star, February 4, 1939:

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗿 𝗚𝗼𝗲𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗕𝘆 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶-𝗡𝗮𝘇𝗶 𝗪𝗶𝘁

Comedians Banned For Humorous Remarks on Leaders

Drawing if a tired puppy with the caption; "This too shall pass but like wtf"

Bruh

Counting & breathing, counting our breaths, breathing at a chosen, even pace-- these tools may seem simple or stupid, but they literally turn on areas of our brain that make emotional regulation possible.

Managing triggers is about what works, not what sounds cool in theory.

Fear doesn't mean we can't do the thing. It means we're going to have to show up for ourselves as we figure out how to do the thing in ways we were never taught or shown how to do.

It means we were lied to about what we "can't" do & what we supposedly "don't deserve."

i’m not going to be lectured about political violence by people whose politics is violence

Of course CPTSD survivors struggle w/ wanting to live. Trauma conditioning convinces us-- falsely-- that we "can't" create or access experiences of pleasure or meaning, & there's no point in even trying.

It's noxious BS (Belief Systems) we have to confront, daily, in recovery.

There is zero shame in having to shift or reduce your workload to focus on managing or healing CPTSD. Yes, that can come w/ economic & logistical hardships, & that absolutely sucks-- but there's no shame in it.

It's not a "failure." You are not "bad" or "stupid" or "lazy."

The fact that we weren't loved by the people who were "supposed" to love us means exactly nothing about who we are, our worth, our potential, or how our life "has" to go.

The NRA buys off Congress. No action on guns.

The oil industry buys off Congress. No action on climate.

Insurance companies buy off Congress. No action on health care.

The list goes on and on.

Money in politics is the root of our dysfunction.

One of the biggest practical challenges many adult trauma survivors face is that recovery is really hard without adequate support-- but our experiences have made it difficult to relate to many people, & our inner circle is often limited to, like, two other people & some animals.

Survivors who successfully recover from CPTSD have zero problem or pride when it comes to admitting we're struggling or that we don't know or understand something. Humility & authenticity are indispensable recovery tools.

Ego kills recovery-- & it'll kill us, if we let it.

Trauma survivors don't have "thin skin." Survivors take more criticism inside our own heads than normies could even comprehend. But we can sometimes get reactive to criticism from others because we've been conditioned to expect shame & punishment to swiftly follow.

CPTSD recovery is less about profound insights than it is about practical, realistic self-care-- especially in how we talk to ourselves. Whatever other recovery tools we're using, if we're treating ourself like an asshole, we're probably repeating abuse dynamics in our own head.

There is more to you than others know. You have your internal struggles, your demons, your doubts. But you also have strengths, aspirations, pride in your accomplishments and what you are capable of. You do not need to prove it to anyone, but you are worthy.

The recovery we deserve is on the other side of memories, feelings, & body sensations we've been tricked into believing aren't safe.

Our ability to recover depends on our willingness to trust & be there for ourselves-- day by day, decision by decision.

You & I deserve the opportunity to discover & create who we are without our past or our pain making our decisions for us-- no matter how old we are, how long ago our trauma was, or how much we've missed out on to this point.

You, there, reading this. I'm talking to you.

Staying small & quiet won't keep us safe. Not ultimately. Not as a lifestyle.

The young "parts" of us that want us to hide & be quiet don't understand the toll that takes on our self-esteem & quality of life. They need us to hold & comfort them as we learn to take up space.

Childhood trauma such a shit thing. Too many shit on addicts, but large percentage of them there thanks to abusive families. I only survived due to stubbornness and desire to rise above my station so to speak. My step aunt & grandma big part of that. Look out for kids you know. Be their ladder up.

There is nothing that happened in our past & nothing that can happen now that requires us to turn on ourselves. Nothing.

The backbone of recovery is affirming that we will not be coerced or conned into paying the price for someone else's cruelty. Not anymore-- not ever again.