Missed connections PDX

Missed connection: you asked me for a lid... ...so you could take your jello shot home with you seek help

Missed connection: I liked you, but your incoming baby killed the vibe (Portland) You were sort of cute. Your texts were sweet. Your baby mama's third-trimester bump on Instagram? Not so much. Hinge should really have a "baby on the way filter" I was into you until I realized someone else was into contractions. Good luck splitting your time between Tinder and the hospital. If you're reading this in the waiting room-maybe reflect on your priorities. Or name the baby after your favorite dating app.

Missed connection: ISO Hearse Owner (Portland) Do you own a hearse? Do you like to make dreams come true? I know that I have seen you driving around town, please come forward and let me know if this is you! ISO the hearse owner who might be willing to let me rent their hearse for approximately 2 hours in July to station outside a party. LMK if you know of someone who can help me find this person I know exists.

Mossed connection: I used soap on your cast iron pan (Portland) I was your roommate for about 8 months in 2023 and I used soap on your stupid cast iron pan many times. You never even noticed. You are the most annoying person I've ever met in my entire life.

Missed connection: Tall goth girl (HAWTHORWNE) You: Extremely tall (im guessin 6'4"), long black hair, goth makeup, and wearing heels to be even taller Me: 5'1", 300 pounds, brown hair, and blue eyes I saw you walking down Hawthorwne on Friday night. I'd just finished up drinking my sorrows away when I saw you appear out of the darkness, a beam of shining light that struck me like a bolt of electricity. Ever since your beauty overwhelmed my fragile constitution, I haven't been able to rid myself of thoughts about you. I think that we have a future together, us two of different extremes. You can be my amazon princess and I'll be your hobbit king. I WANT YOU SO BADLY MY AMAZONIAN GODDESS, I WANT TO WORSHIP YOU LIKE THE GREEKS WOSHIPED ZEUS. I WANT TO BOW DOWN AT YOUR FEET AND KISS YOUR TOES. I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP AND LET ME RIDE HORSEY ON YOUR GLORIOUS NECK. JUST GIVE ME THIS ONE CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF MY DEAR !!!~~~~

Missed Connection: Bake shop babe (help me, lesbians) You told me you got into grad school today. Fkn PHD baddie. I gave you a high five but I had such an impulse to give you a hug but like society tells me that's weird and also there was a counter between us. You're stunning (like wtf your eyes and eyebrows). I wanted to keep talking to you. Walked out flustered, hesitated, decided to walk back in and ask for your number, paused to collect myself, and god damn my bus pulled up and well I couldn't be late to school. My number is floating in the ether of Craigslist for you to find now- and my Craigslist missed connections virginity is lost on you. Can I take you out for a celebratory drink?

(help me, lesbians)

Missed connection: Ihb of my dreams leaving Hmart today 2.11 (Portland) the long haired butch of my dreams- you were crossing the street from Hmart with a black hankie hanging out your back left pocket today around 4:45pm. my jaw dropped at how much of a babe you are. if you see this and are looking for a gay date, i'd love to buy you a bev and shoot the shit. <3 XOXO

Missed Connection: package that containing a strap-on(seems)? delivered Wrong address but willing to deliver to the owner of this. Near Orenco station area.

👀

*Bot post* Missed connection title only: “41 y/r ancient bored m.0.m”

Missed connection: Axe Murder This Thrussy You were walking down the waterfront yesterday with an axe. You looked hot and a little crazy (because of the axe). Seemed like you had somewhere important to be.

Axe Murder This Thrussy

dude, u rox!

Missed connection: my ewaste empress (PORTLAND) saw you last week when i was donating a comp to free geek. i had a beat up desktop comp, you had a stickered to shit mac. you wore docs and told me i look like the kind of guy who lives in my moms basement. i do live with my mom. and i do like mean women. let's grab a drink?

Missed Connection reply: my computer cuck (Free Geek) To the cuckold in the Free Geek parking lot: I didn't say you lived with your mom. You asked me how to donate your shit comp. I said read the signs mom-fker. My friend sent me your missed connections post. I'll pass on the drink. Hope your mom fucks Santa.

Love is so real y’all

Missed connection: Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. (SE Portland) It's been over 10 years, you are much older than me and I was so trusting. I know it was love. It had to have been, but you let me go and went back to your wife. Now your son is connecting with me, unaware of my past with you. He's much closer to my age and possesses all the qualities I loved about you. I thought about turning him away. What if he he asks me to meet his parents? I won't be turning him away and vou will just have to live with that.

Juicyyyy

Frees stuff: GIANT SELF STIRRING AND SELF HEATING CAULDRON!!! FREE GIANT SELF STIRRING AND SELF HEATING CAULDRON WITH LID. Great for soups, stews and potions. Entertain large crowds? No problem!!! Always wanted to try elephant stew? No problem!!! Troublesome inlaws? No problem!!!

Best of CL (2014) [Free Stuff tab]

Put alt text on your pix, babes!!!! 💋 Its so hot when you do that!!!! 😍

Missed Connection: Uhhhhhh... did someone lose an urn of ashes? (Hawthone) If you misplaced your loved one's ashes, they're sitting on the corner on SE Main st and 43rd. Just sitting there on the sidewalk... in purple box... with the person's name on there..... I lose stuff all the time but this is next level. …… god I wish I could unsee that

From March, 2023.

Live Laugh Lesbians ! <3 :] ha ha

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Missed connection: Pets on Broadway meet-cute (Sullivan's Gulch) You stopped me in the reptile and invertebrate section Monday 1/20 around 2pm to comment on the fact that our queer uniforms were matching down to the glasses, then you correctly profiled me as non-binary. I got socially awkward at the feeling of being perceived before I could ask you what kind of snake you have. I introduced you to my opossum on our way out, but I forgot to ask for your number because we started talking about how that would be the easiest way to kidnap you. It's kind of true, you didn't even hesitate to follow me. We both have names that start with E. Tell me what color my mullet is, and I'll invite you over to see my spider room.

💋‼️

Missed Connection: I need a car thief 1998 Subaru Legacy Outback (Portland) It is rumored that there are 7 keys made for the 1998 Subaru Legacy outback. And the person who owns all 7 keys can unlock and drive any 1998 Subaru Legacy outback they come across. I sold my 1998 Subaru Legacy outback to a man in 2021... it was then stolen from him shortly after that sale. I was unaware of this, until a few weeks ago I got a call from a debt collector saying that a tow yard in Vancouver Washington has said Subaru, and the vehicle is still in my name. I need to pay a ton of fucking money to the guys, and I want to get the car back! But I have no key... so I am hoping that maybe you (or someone you know) is a car thief who steals 1998 Subaru Legacy outback's... and will go with me to the tow yard in Vancouver Washington... and we can try all the keys together... and then go make a spare key out of the one that works for me to keep??? Pretty please! I promise I won't snitch on you for being a car thief. I really respect the hustle, I think it's cool to have the 7 keys. Also if you don't have all 7, I'm still willing to work with you, let's just try as many as you have! I will compensate youuuu$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I need a car thief 1998 Subaru
Legacy Outback (Portland)

Missed Connection: Mega babe picking nose at shell (Portland) Say hey there gold digger. I know you were embarrassed when I looked around the gas pump and saw you knuckle deep in your nose... but I do it too. I don't want to pick your nose, but I wouldn't mind picking you up and taking you to dinner. I hope you see this. Great relationships start with this kind of openness. HMU!

=]

Missed connection: Father and Motherhood opportunity (PDX) I'd like to be a dad. I'm not shallow so whether or not you think your beautiful or not, isn't an issue. Just me honest, clean, DDF, and willing to have a child. If you're willing to live together to raise as a family or raise together separately is ok. As long as we can be compatible sexually and parent wise - that would be amazing. Due to work hours, it's hard to get dating. Most women can't date during the day. I'm tired of searching. Want to know more, meet for coffee, send a note.

Oh?

Feel happy to be here!