Jennifer C. Martin

My friend said that he’s emotionally intelligent and intellectually dumb as rocks

Lmao I thought this was gonna be about ICE

👀

Google at its peak was basically the best information retrieval system in human history and they and every competitor decided going from there to “you didn’t want answers you wanted half-assed auto-complete 80%-wrong hallucinations” in a few years was the right idea

Paying $8 for my little can of adaptogen non-alcoholic seltzer so I can enjoy my white girl placebo effect drink

That’s true, but I remember watching the show and within five minutes of seeing Adam Driver‘s character I thought man this guy is going to be a real actor. I don’t know if I can bring myself to rewatch it though haha

I don’t mean to be like “if the genders were reversed…” but I would absolutely never have sex with anyone who had a dog bed instead of a real bed

I have like 30 pine trees on one acre and anyone who complains about my leaf litter can pay the $3k per tree to cut them down

bye Kit Kats

That might be true for the southern cooks who do a lot of quick pies — I personally dislike the taste of Cool Whip and never use it. But there’s a certain type of pie like lemon or chocolate or coconut where the difference between northern and southern is whipped cream or baked meringue

The meme of the sports broadcaster ripping off his headphones with a look of disgust on his face

When a recipe claims to be a “southern” pie but it calls for whipped cream on top instead of baked meringue

<3

That’s because they don’t think of their political enemies as “the country.” When they think of the country they love, they think of people who believe and look like them only. They don’t consider us Americans, we’re usurpers. Another good reason U.S. patriotism can’t be reclaimed.

Well, if you need some cessation commiseration you can DM me! I mostly used it for insomnia at night so my sleep is currently very fucked

I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never heard of it happening to anyone. Ironically, I’m actually going through a period of abstinence for MJ right now — not enjoying chemical dependence, even if it’s not as bad as heroin or something! But I’m glad that I have the option to maybe enjoy it again one day lol

Oh, I had a chance to get golden comets and didn’t! I do have two RIRs and they are so funny, and make the funniest noises. I currently have four little chicks indoors and I got a mystery chick from Meyer hatchery and I think it’s an Easter egger but I won’t know for sure until it’s full grown

Yes!!! Probably my favorite breed

Me a white woman wearing a pink long sleeved dress with long green and brown hair hanging down loose, is holding a barred rock hen while a pastor with her face covered by a cross emoji because I don’t have her permission to post her hold out her hand and blesses the chicken, named platinum, during a blessing of the animals service outside of my church in the grass

I was the only person to bring a chicken to the Blessing of the Animals service today. This is Platinum.

This is an all-timer. This is the interaction they should use as an advertisement for bluesky.

The exact person I wanna be

Boomers love to have these custom grandparent names that don’t make them sound too old… I’m going the opposite, I’m gonna be “Granny” and dive in all the way

a woman wearing glasses is looking at a computer screen ALT: a woman wearing glasses is looking at a computer screen

Ryan Lizza about to put another horrifying Olivia Nuzzi & RFK Jr. fact into the universe as soon as the cursed media cycle about them is finally about to die down:

pope leo singing into a microphone meme with lots of bishops and other kinds of fancy white men behind him

I was in love with the place
In my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind

YOU CAME TO TAKE US
ALL THINGS GO, ALL THINGS GO

Me (white woman) wearing burgundy shirt falling off shoulders with purple floral bra underneath and blue jeans smiles in front of a gift shop window in carytown Richmond VA with words that say “Have you been naughty?”

Have YOU been naughty?

Omg this is the exact mastodon vibe i cannot handle

I’ve scrolled past this all day because I just did not have the mental space to absorb it

lmao

Some of y’all are dating dudes who won’t post you after six months

Can Mamdani come talk to my parents next

I’m telling you, save the Marxist analysis for later and just enjoy how fucked up the reactionaries are right now. It’ll all be shit again by tomorrow. Just enjoy this reformist socdem wilding out a little and triggering the funniest wave of reactions