Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧

a gorilla standing in a pool of water with a drain in the background ALT: a gorilla standing in a pool of water with a drain in the background

Jonathan Gullis celebrates becoming a member of Reform Ltd, and auditions for Strictly Come Thickcvnt.
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Morning Kieran. Nothing minor I hope?🤣🤣
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The Xmas Grift that keeps on giving.
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I went to see an acupuncturist yesterday, and he persuaded me to sign up for a loyalty card.

Apparently, I'll get free points.

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Fun fact: or maybe not.

Kings sleep in King sized beds
Queens sleep in queen sized beds
A Prince sleeps on an Heir mattress.

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Jeremy Corbyn selfie with two new 'Your Party' members before they began slapping each other.
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Great idea Tedski. If the shit flinging Gorilla spews enough faecal matter around, it will deflect any questions about our Russia ties.
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My girlfriend said, "an onion is the only vegetable that makes you cry."

I threw a turnip at her, just to prove her wrong.

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This is the worst time of year for me. My girlfriend, Carol, is constantly singing xmas songs.
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Thats like asking Fred West about environmentally sound patio laying.
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🤔
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Comedian falls off building and no one laughs.

Although, the pavement cracks up.

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I told my girlfriend to go quietly to her room when she said Jim Morrison wasn't a good musician.

We don't slam the Doors in this house.

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Nigel Farage's next grift:
To organise a non charity football match between Gammonati United, and his team Reform FC (Flagshagging Cvnts)
All proceeds to Nigels beer and fag fund.
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My mathematician and statistician neighbours have just broken up.

Apparently, she found him too mean.

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🎶All around my ARSE🎶
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Even as a child Nigel Farage was fascinated with looking for small boats.
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Charlie Mullins pre melted plastic U bend, and Turkey Teefs application.
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I clearly remember my wife giving birth and the midwife saying, "Congratulations, you have a new bouncing baby."

"What is it?."

"I've no idea, it hasn't stopped bouncing yet."

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Fun fact:

Jesus was originally named Gary.

Then Mary stubbed her toe.

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Starring in the new stage show of 'Hair'
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Complimentary lube in room?
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Shocking eh.
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I was pulled over by the police yesterday whilst driving my new electric car.

"Why have you pulled me over?"

"Our checks show you don't have a current licence. "

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Excessive pearl clutching, and sad whimpering, in Reform Ltd ranks over this.
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