clam boat to the underworld

I wonder how old I will be when I stop being surprised that breaking off the bottom of an overlong lede and using it as the kicker works. Not today!

please, tonight, drive as if there are invisible children in the middle of the road because there are

i mean, while i'm waiting get my new measurements taken by my tailor

if i realized i was back from the dead that's the first thing i'd buy

Why are so many skeletons depicted wearing a top hat? It doesn't make any sense. People aren't buried wearing top hats. It's a nonsense.

bet the toilet is gold

please, tonight, drive as if there are invisible children in the middle of the road because there are

Philip Larkin’s this be the verse mangled into Ozymandias, the text reads They Oz you up, your mandyias. They may not mean to, but they do. They give you vast and trunkless legs A sunken shattered visage too. But they were Ozzed up in their turn By Mandyias upon the sand Who half the time had wrinkled lips And half in sneering cold command. Oz hands on mandyias to man. Like mighty works atop a shelf Look on them early as you can Ye mighty and despair yourself

working in an office that shares a wall with a room full of sleeping toddlers and the loud slow hauntingly repetitious sleeping music they're playing has the same chord progression as Fuck and Run by Liz Phair

why am i still allowed to buy lettuce

perhaps summoning a horrifying lovecraftian meme

neither gif nor gif but a third unsettling pronunciation

Abbott and Costello Meet Matlock

Return to Matlock Mountain

they can lie about immigrants and corruption and the truth isn't easily verifiable but once they start lying about jobs and prices and healthcare costs, everyone can tell right away

the fingers are definitely the doughiest part of the chicken

Matlock vs MechaMatlock

hell yeah i'm excited about your costume party, got my Sexy Isaac Chotiner with a Microphone outfit from Walmart, gonna slay

oh god are they in the house? that can be bad and i have been there

ok i'm realizing you've never worked for a law firm, so good luck with your future posting

uh law firms do not like to drop clients

After Law Firm Deals With Trump, D.C. Bar Warns of Ethical Jeopardy

cheaper in the long run to uncave

one time Mamdani "OK Boomer"ed me and WTF i'm an old Gen X this is absolutely disqualifying

and subarus the blundstones

blundstones are the subarus of western massachusetts

can't they uncave?

one time Mamdani "OK Boomer"ed me and WTF i'm an old Gen X this is absolutely disqualifying

what are the colors

It appears your standard errors were not as robust as you thought, Mr. Bond.

Nostalgic for the brief period in 1999 when we thought Blair Witch might be real