Sorry, can't take anything seriously while prediction markets exist. Cut that shit out or I will die goofy.
02.03.2026 21:31 — 👍 143 🔁 19 💬 12 📌 0Sorry, can't take anything seriously while prediction markets exist. Cut that shit out or I will die goofy.
02.03.2026 21:31 — 👍 143 🔁 19 💬 12 📌 0
me: *marching to the beat of my own drum*
librarian: stop it
On my que sera, sera shit
02.03.2026 14:03 — 👍 14 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0
(3/5)
27.02.2026 17:41 — 👍 90 🔁 20 💬 1 📌 4
27.02.2026 13:20 —
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The silliest crime name has to be "Criminal Mischief". That's like arresting someone for "First Degree Antics", or "Felony Shenanigans".
27.02.2026 11:21 — 👍 13 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 0
The three main characters from the television show 2 guys and a girl which became 2 guys a girl and a pizza place
There was a brief period in the 90s where everyone looked like they were in a ska punk band
26.02.2026 02:49 — 👍 132 🔁 10 💬 11 📌 1It was the best of times, it was the best of times.
26.02.2026 15:36 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What a bunch of squares!
25.02.2026 22:44 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0oxymorons are zit pads for idiots
24.02.2026 17:35 — 👍 17 🔁 9 💬 0 📌 0Thanks to technology, bananas are becoming obsolete as pretend phones. The future belongs to the Pop-Tart.
24.02.2026 05:02 — 👍 1678 🔁 335 💬 26 📌 23Their reply was stupid. Why do I have to read it?!
24.02.2026 20:28 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0shitposters are fartists
23.02.2026 00:29 — 👍 114 🔁 42 💬 9 📌 0"I'm still punk" I whisper to myself as I turn on The Weather Channel and judge weather in cities I'm nowhere near
24.02.2026 12:17 — 👍 20 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0The TV show Sliders but all the characters are Guy Fieri and every jump is to a dystopian Flavortown
24.02.2026 06:37 — 👍 9 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0They’re outsourcing our dogs!
23.02.2026 20:26 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I refuse to watch this piece of media, so have no idea what it's about, but here's my essay on why it's bad
23.02.2026 19:11 — 👍 25 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0The people with an inability to stop and ask “Is this satire?” are my absolute favorite.
23.02.2026 16:49 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0At the moment, I'm regrettably not exploring a quaint bookstore on a cobblestone street in Vienna during a raging thunderstorm, so no, I'm afraid your email did not "find me well.”
23.02.2026 13:25 — 👍 394 🔁 36 💬 6 📌 1can bones be tired i think they can bc mine sure are
23.02.2026 13:37 — 👍 135 🔁 36 💬 11 📌 0People probably thought the first guy to wear shoes was crazy "oh look at Jim shoving his feet in the assholes of a couple dead raccoons he's so crazy" but they were wrong
23.02.2026 12:38 — 👍 115 🔁 20 💬 4 📌 2wjat the fuck is a Cortana. sounds like a cd-rom about learning from 1998 with an image of a dolphin leaping on the cover
23.02.2026 02:53 — 👍 119 🔁 13 💬 15 📌 1Some Sunday nights I'll log on to bluesky, chastise the userbase, then shut off the lights and enumerate my regrets in a thin whisper. Other times I'll play Nintendo.
23.02.2026 01:44 — 👍 142 🔁 16 💬 8 📌 0
well, can a guy on drugs do THIS
interviewer: i haven’t asked any questions
the power went out an hour ago but i have the modem and routers on a backup upc battery and still have internet and feel like a goddamn wizard
21.02.2026 04:00 — 👍 45 🔁 7 💬 3 📌 0I spent the weekend rebuilding portions of my mobile app and now it’s Usainely fast.
23.02.2026 00:00 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I have played the Virtual Boy so that you don’t have to! The reports from the 90s are accurate and it does indeed cause headaches.
21.02.2026 17:06 — 👍 6 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
NASA warns alíen life may not be fuckable
It’s official. Everything sucks
20.02.2026 15:40 — 👍 571 🔁 128 💬 65 📌 124