𖤐Kira𖤐

Other cards I got today in a ten pack opening. Yes, two Pikachus in a ten pack opening. Also got Floragato.

My first EVER God pack. 😱 I'm not sure there's ever been a better and/or luckier one in a set with nearly 400 cards. Already had Lusamine but I'll happily take a double of her.

The vein from my wrist is so tempting.

#tw:sh #trigger #triggerwarning #bpd #sh #selfharm #suicidal #relapse #tw;sh #shsky

Newest hits from today!

Sure!

Beyond. It's literally a war in my head 24/7. Ugh.

Thanks, hearing that means a lot. ❤️ I try to be, my brain just doesn't always like to be.

They are, like Jesus. If I ever get rich, I'm going to use the money to start programs to encourage exotic vets and help people pay for their rodents.

Thank you.

Haha, I'd have done the same tbh. Without even a second thought.

I know. ❤️ He definitely had probably one of the best lives out there. Had me all the time. Was spoiled. Cost me over 2000+ which I'm still paying on, in his whole life. Lol But it was worth it. Everything was worth it.

Depends. The vet I took Kira to was $260. My friends and family on Facebook helped me raise the money.

I've always been iffy with females because of tumors. Not that it stopped my last guinea pig, Zelda, who had one for half of her life and still loved till over 7.

That is true. He wasn't my pet though, he was literally my kid. ❤️ I showed him especially but all my other babies to everyone like a proud father. Haha My phone has only had their pictures as my home screen and lock screen. My lock screen rotates 15 photos of my babies.

Indeed. And I only left his side 3 days in his whole life and it's because he was in the ICU. I haven't worked since 2020 so I'm always home. Night owl and homebody. Lol My babies always got my attention unless I have to goto the store. But I'd take them if I could and they liked car rides. 😹

Yeah I know. I know I did all I could and waiting wasn't an option. Especially when he hadn't ate or drank for days, nearly bleed out twice from his teeth cutting his tongue.

We ended up having to get a new car a few weeks later because the AC just wouldn't work ever again.

No worries! I know no one would like things in that kind of way. 😄

They are, and man, driving from Ohio (where i live) to Florida (in-laws live) always scares me because of the temp difference. Like I'm so paranoid from taking them out of the car to in the house.

Yeah. I don't know if they were weak from age+lack of nutrition from being sick cause he never had an issue before, none of my rats ever had teeth issues. Always told by vets how good their teeth looked.

Thanks! They so are, especially Zacky. ❤️

Online stigma def doesn't help with that. As long as I vibe with someone I'm fine with being friends. I don't even look my age, aging like wine lol Don't act it thanks to being stunted from trauma. 🙃

Most of my friends at my last job was 18-23. Only people who were into gaming, anime, music, etc

Atm these are what I have on mine that are on my wishlist.

Hey, I got your trade. I only have one Magby for the trade. These are the only duplicates I have.

Adding.

I have an extra Pichu.

Cuuuuute. ❤️

Once again, no asking how I am when we get to the car. Just nothing, all because I got annoyed over her not doing just ONE thing while I napped. All because I didn't do anything when she was napping because I was waiting for her so we could tag team it.

And this is why... I want to die. Fuck this..

Literally the thing I need most with my BPD is some understanding and more than anything, some show of care and love. How is watching your fiancé struggle that much when you haven't seen him that upset in a longtime love?

Not to mention next day in therapy hearing his depression is 9.5/10. Yet...

Just a stubborn fucking attitude because I got annoyed she couldn't even at least clean up HER mess on the couch, HER coffee table.

I don't know how you watch your fiancée be like that and not try to help. If I notice her off, be it sad or angry, I try to calm her down. Me? Nope, I dont deserve it.

And this whole time, I'm clearly not okay, I'm stressed as hell, because the owner can control if we get kicked out or not since we are month to month.

I'm wincing in pain, struggling to get around without hurting. I'm so mad because of the dicks attitude and I get NOTHING from her. Not.one.thing.

I figure, well, it either breaks or doesn't. Breathing isn't helping. She's not helping, and all I can think about is cutting myself to get the emotions out.

But I don't, instead I re-gauge my ear cause it hurt, I kick a crappy ply wood board till I'm exhausted, which doesn't take much btw.

And it happens every time the apartment needs to be cleaned. Every.single.time.

So I bust my ass getting it done. The owner comes in & is a total fucking cunt & beyond pisses me off to the point despite being on a mood stabilizer I needed to get it out. So I tried to break a crappy piece of wood.

When the apartment was a total disaster and the owner was coming. Cause I knew how much needed to get done,cause I refuse to apologize for being so frustrated.

My body feels like it got hit by a bus from all I did that day. What should have been doable required me to get my mum to help get it done.

Wow... just wow. "I am in love with you but I need time to think if I wanna continue this"

'Maybe you gave up on this relationship but I'm not' is what she said back in Febuary when my mental state was horrible like it is now.

Doing this because I got really annoyed she didn't get anything done...

I'm tired of being around people who don't understand my mental illnesses. I'm tired of the lack of support and help to get better.

Constantly showing you don't care to someone with trust issues from BPD is not the way to get that cycle to change and to be able to be trusted.
I just don't get it.

Finally on my favorite Pokémon episode ever with my favorite, Haunter! 🖤👻