Feo (ALIEN ERA?!??🛸)

I want it that wayyyy tell me whyyyy

Real

Bro I might be late for WORK

I have to be up early for work and it is 1am 😔 sighhhh I will go to bed even though I wanna draw more

Doodling up a STORM

My coworker is making me so mad en oh my god…

I’m at work and I’m chilled out

I can attest

BSBSJSN i wasn’t even sure it was you i only looked for second BUT I KNEW ITTT LOOKED LIKE YOU

I THOUGHT I SAW YOU BUT I WAS WITH MY GRANDMA AND SAW JUST A BUNCH OF PPL IN ONE ISLE AND IT OVERWHELMED ME SO I LEFT TO ANOTHER SECTION THAT HAD THE STUFF I WAS LOOKING FOR 🙏😭

I’m loosing myself again

Right ok im done sorry I just dont feel normal or good. Im never going to be normal. I am a bad person.

I don’t even believe in god. Heaven or Hell. There is nothing to even look forward to when I won’t be anywhere in life. I’m 20. I’m 20 and ruining my own life with bullshit that doesn’t even matter because I don’t even matter

I’m going to be just like my mom and that hurts me more than anything because I love her but she does awful things and I’m going to be like her. Maybe that is why my sister hates me. Maybe going to college isn’t worth it. Maybe I get treated this way for a reason by my family. I hate me.

The typos in this one makes this make no sense but I don’t care sigh I’m not fixing it

Maybe I just feel the need to get everything in my head out? Idk it doesn’t really help I just think about it more and more. I’ll probably regret it too making it public. Idk I don’t even fucking know.

And vent openly about this here makes me feel bad bc I know people will see it and I know people will try to either talk to be about it trying to make me feel bad or just ignore it and pretend they saw nothing. I don’t even know what I’m trying to accomplish by posting it.

I think about dying everyday and wonder if i deserve to live yet I also believe I don’t deserve to die I need to suffer. Even though there is good in my life. So sooo much good I still think about it. I practically fantasize about who I’m supposed to be and who I’m not.

I denied having depression for so long because I’m a happy person in my head it’s how I think of myself. But i ignore all the times I cry, rot in bed, harm myself, avoid everything, literally everyday I have something negative to say. I am the problem and I’m not ok with it.

Am I truly disordered? Or am I looking so attention? Am I too desperate? Are my standards too high? Low? Why is life so hard. Can anyone love me when I don’t even love myself? I don’t even like myself. Why can’t I do anything right? My family doesn’t care about me either.

Am I the problem? I’m I just too much? Or not enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not thin enough? Am I too loud? Quiet? I don’t even know who I am. I have so many personalities. So many styles. I like most music. Who even am I? Too sensitive? Too stupid? Am I not supposed to be loved in that way?

I think I force myself to get crushes on people bc I want someone to love and I know that isn’t good especially when i barely know these people sometimes. When i really think about it I don’t like them just the idea. The idea of being with someone. I want someone who will actually love me for me.

Why can’t people actually love people? Why can’t dating be a commitment anymore? Why cheat? Why hurt people you claim to love? Why be in a situationship and not date? I don’t get it. I get nothing. Why is everything about sex? Or looks? Why? Can’t you love to be around someone too? In true love??

We are synced yet again

I need to do laundry and shower

For why

30mins

1hr 30 minutes

So do sleepyyy how bruhhhh had a coffee monsterrrr smhhh

3hrs n 30 mins left of work