Warren Read

💯

Nothing more awful than a torn dew--by the time you take care of it, it's like a friggin crime scene.
Leave the house prepared!

You never know when your dog might suddenly need their nails clipped, so it's good to carry these with you:

I could go home for all that and at least I’d get a tuna casserole out if it.

For the (supposed) richest country in the world, it’s inhuman.

Absolutely--I barely can. I'm just saying that if we're expected to pay (whatever amount) into healthcare, it'd be better if the end result was that it funded healthcare for all.

Sounds like a great Saturday night!

Not a contest, but I pay $24,000 a year for my spouse and myself. The thing is, I'd be willing to pay this without complaint if it was a tax that ensured universal coverage for all. Right now it just feels like medical extortion.

God, or whoever, help us all.

This is the way to do it. Set up a picnic, and offer food to whatever soldiers show up. Make it clear that you are on the side of good.

Thank you! So far I've been funneling it to a friend near Chicago, who has a gallery. But I may be having him send back the pieces that haven't sold and I might put something together here. I'll let you know if I do! ❤️

Maybe that’s why it caught my eye. 😊

Love this!

Got it, Prez. Now, can you walk me through a tuneup on my '72 Nova and, after that, a quick coronary artery bypass graft? Thanks, man!

A lot of cereal is just a bowlful of little, tiny cookies anyway. So you're good.

I remember watching one movie where the main character kept saying, "Jesus Christ!", but the censors overdubbed it as "Judas Priest!" That one was super confusing to me.

a black and white photo of a woman in a car surrounded by monsters ALT: a black and white photo of a woman in a car surrounded by monsters

Night of the Hunter

When I was teaching, I had a student come tell me that someone had written the F-word in the bathroom. When I went to check, it literally said, "the F-word." This is the same kind of 9 year-old thinking.

So they should have thrown them both to the ground and climbed on top of them to protect them? Have you ever banged your shin on the edge of an escalator step? That scene would have been something to behold.

What about the Manzanar National Historic Site (part of the NPS)? It’s literally the site of a Japanese internment, with the entire installation about said internment.

They asked 1,000 mothers of gay men who came of age in the 1970s if they had avocado green or harvest gold appliances. 88% of them said yes. Therefore, exposure to avocado green and harvest gold in childhood makes you gay.

Straights apparently didn't pay mind to the color scheme in the kitchen.

Damn. All it takes is one lousy antifa running in the halls to mess it up for the rest of us.

This little weightlifter, now living in a museum in Florence, Italy.

Hahaha!

Many years ago, I went to a low rent theater to see a movie called "Runaway" and it starred William Smith. The projectionist messed up the reels and showed it all out of order. Turns out almost nobody noticed, even when a guy got killed and then was alive 20 minutes later.

When all you really need to be able to do is outrun them.

I wonder how hard it would be to join up, and take them down from within?