y'all'dn't've🍉

A skeleton running with the words: JUST WALK OUT you can leave!!! work social thing movies home class dentist clothes shoppi too fancy weed store your quick friend ships IF IT SUCKS... HIT DA BRICKS!! real winners quit

Good morning! Reminder: if it sucks, hit da bricks!

dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers

Just yesterday I was thinking about how, when social media platforms rolled out algorithms, everyone was like “we don’t want that.” And they were like “no no, trust us, the data says you do; it’ll be great.” Now not only are the algorithms not great, they sucked the life out of everything

underrated thing to do on vacation is "nothing but in a different place"

[threatening a baby] here comes the airplane

they're coming out with Pepsi Thick

Dr. Seuss struggling not to rhyme as he gives a description of his wife’s killer

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

in the divorce i get custody of the little plate in the microwave

do you ever think about the way technology went and get so mad

I think it's cool that AI doesn't work and is an ecological disaster but what if the ideas of what to do with it were also absolute dogshit?

Me: Hey can you do your dishes
My roommate The Buddha: Perhaps your problem is not my dishes but your attachment to a clean sink
Me: Alright man

bsky.app/profile/myka...

since im not visiting family this year i turned motion smoothing on on all my TVs last night so i can turn it off today

The key reason the utopia version of the matrix failed was humanity could not imagine a world where succotash didn't suffer

A photo of a Japanese bar’s sign in which a cheerful bottle is kicking a brain in its nuts

Maybe the best logo I’ve ever seen

based64

Quoth the baby shoe, neverworn.

how much sick do you plan on being next year babe? like $4000?

Goldman Sachs feels like what rich people say instead of 'Deez nuts'

NEWTON: *uses prism to separate sunlight into its constituent wavelengths*
Hmm...
*makes note*
[Sun gay?]

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Just saw my first Cybertruck. It bumped a curb parallel parking and exploded, giving me 1 XP and 1x Scrap Metal that merchants will not buy from me and takes up two inventory squares :(

if my predators choose to attack my soft underbelly instead of my spiky carapace that says more about them than me.

oh wow, that’s totally different than my experience. the demons who came out when I solved the puzzle box were basically all-in on pleasure. not so much the chains and mutilation

*donks you right in the kong*

Inflation is so crazy. I blow air into a balloon and it just keeps getting bigger. This is unsustainable.