John Beavers

Just ask if you can have it iced. That’ll stop them dead in their tracks. I watched an American at the Manchester airport once ask for iced tea at breakfast, and the waiter said, “Well, we have ice. And we have tea. But we don’t put them together.”

Outstanding

We are hiring! Come join us at UT Austin!

Slightly diminish a band: The Beetles

Man, I could really go for some shepherd’s pie right now.

Congrats to @vshirazy.bsky.social for winning a NSF GRFP! Venus is writing a fascinating honors thesis on Farsi complex predicates, and has long been my editorial assistant at Language. She's amazing, and I know she'll excel at her next adventure in the Linguistics PhD program at U. of Chicago!

I do that regularly, but somehow missed that cue!

I gardenpathed so hard on this sentence like three times before I realized you weren’t talking about architecture in Helsinki but rather Architecture in Helsinki.

All these people having a problem with the ADS word of the year being “rawdog”, wait till they get a load of the word “sucks”!

Thanks, that helped a bit! A fixture of my childhood, and a cool, unique bit of Longview. We had similar nicknames, and every time we drove past headed to Lake Cherokee (also a place with a complicated history) my dad would tell the only blue joke he ever told: “That’s where Dolly Parton is buried!”

Also from Longview. Never heard about such things until I went to college and took a class on US history and it was included on a list of cities that experienced race riots. You would have thought that would be a part of history we were all made aware of, but, well, Longview.

Do it on paper, but several years ago I did a family Christmas gift draw by going back to my 1990s-era pre-linguistics days as a computer programmer and wrote a C program to do the matching. Really, you should do that.

Then clearly you should accept it!

BTW Stephan Oepen is amazing at spotting stuff like this. If your \baselinestretch is anything less than 1.0 he will notice it.

I knew I forgot something before I submitted that

Oh good so it’s not just me. Maybe we’re all in luck!

I have to do cybersecurity training again. I have an idea: UT should send everyone an email with the subject line "CHECK THIS OUT!!1!" and the body is a long, ugly-ass link. If you click it it takes you to the training module and it becomes mandatory. If you don't click it, you don't have to do it.

Back at UT at last, but it was an honor to spend three weeks at Rochester as the first Ivan A. Sag Fellow! What a fantastic group of faculty and grad students they have! For anyone interested, here're handouts and recordings for the Sag Lectures. sas.rochester.edu/cls/sag/curr...

Come present your research at the Texas Linguistics Society 2024! It's gonna be lit!

Beat you to it. My professors used to tell me my handouts were hard to read and I was always like "Whatever, I've been wearing pretty significant glasses since I was 12 so don't tell me about bad eyesight" and then I turned like 43 and I was like "Oh, wait. It gets worse." So I'm a 1up guy now, too.

*goddammit

Did not have “brain-eating amoebas” on my bingo card.

Ohio State Linguistics seeks to hire an Assistant Professor in language variation & change or sociolinguistics w/ a specialization in language & race or marginalized languages particularly African American English & language varieties arising through contact.
 
academicjobsonline.org/ajo/jobs/25772

Come and join my department! Penn Linguistics invites applications for a tenure-track position in Syntax at the rank of Assistant Professor. Follow the link for details.
apply.interfolio.com/131974

Not seeing the problem

Being someone who works on language and who edits a journal called Language I really hate the fact that one word I consistently misspell is "language".

Nay, had I pow'r, I should pour the sweet milk of concord into hell, uproar the universal peace, confound all unity on earth.

Assistant Professor in Syntax The Department of Linguistics in the College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, Kentucky seeks to fill a tenure-eligible faculty position at the Assistant Professor level...

University of Kentucky Linguistics is hiring for a syntactician!

The Department of Linguistics at The University of Texas at Austin is hiring! We are seeking an Assistant or Associate Professor in the Study of the Indigenous Languages of Latin America. Click the here for details: apply.interfolio.com/131710