OnlyKarlos

I still have dreams I want to achieve, and I still work on them in my free time. I still draw and write and create, and I'm passionate about it. But I don't share out of fear I'll be judged by who I was then and not who I am now. I'm really just hoping nobody cares, to be honest.

I can only hope my skin is thick enough to handle criticism now, specially justifiable criticism. There are people out there who might hate me for good reason and I'm just hoping they moved on as well. Maybe I'm just the only one that still cares, and I'm just overthinking it.

I guess I still struggle a lot with self esteem that I care more about what people think of me than who I really am. I've put a lot of work into becoming a better person but in my mind it's kind of worthless if I've already hurt people in ways that can't be easily forgiven.

I was a pretty awful person to be around and talk to, I let my insecurities and immaturity take control over me and was a pretty big piece of shit to a lot of good and well-meaning people. But no amount of regret, growth or moving on will undo any of that.

A big reason why I'm constantly deleting my posts is because I'm afraid that people who have only known me during my depressive years (2018-2023) will judge me very harshly despite being in a far better mental state now, and it's quite a paralyzing fear.