Layne

Scrolling through 10 tiktoks of people talking about the same damn bag being #1 on their list is how I keep myself deinfluenced 😌

Having meta glasses is so embarrassing

I’m usually depressed this time of year because I am not working but I have mitigated that by going out every single night until 3am

American Airlines, everyone said I was a fool for not going Delta when I started having fly monthly and they were RIGHT. YOU WILL REGRET CROSSING ME.

Bruh

If you ask a girl for her equipment list, she’s always going to ask for a broncolor para

Not Cardi B announcing over the Lorimer intercom to pay your fare 😭

Last two eagles games have taken years off my life

If anyone on set is chain smoking, it’s always the g&e team

Straight men might be more perceptive than i give them credit for

When the lesbians tell you that your fantasy roster is one of the best, you know you won 😌

The reason you guys are getting turned away at basement is that you’re showing up scared to get turned away at basement like…

I’m really boots on the ground for this app

Imagine vacationing in beautiful Sarasota, New Jersey

Crashing out FOR REAL THIS TIME

People who think cars are the answer to all transportation should be publicly shamed and sent to conversion camp

I am just a girl living in the big city going to the bar with the talent after shooting all day

Perhaps I have reached Capricorn final destination which is not seeing your grandfather before he died because you had a job booked

Some dumb bitch parked a scooter in front of the shopping cart corral at wegmans so I lifted my cart over the railing and a man across the parking lot yelled “that was the most punk thing I’ve ever seen a woman do” which was flattering but then he started hitting on me so I had to run to my car

What will you think of me knowing that my uber driver cut you off because i told him i was late

🫩

Oh no… they’re all crawling out of the woodwork now

Reply guy has been silent for months, but I get tagged by one store in soho and it’s suddenly “heyyyyy bestie”

No longer living in Bushwick which is a little inconvenient but my new block reminds me of my street in south philly because all my neighbors are older and have been living there forever and know my name and I just really love that

Spotted lantern flys cruising by on the It’s Tough to Be a Bug platform

Obsessed with the TSA worker that stopped me at airport security because she wanted to smell my le labo sample

Worked like 5 days total in June and now working every single day of July… my budgeting skills are really being put to the test

Need everyone to know it is 85 degrees with 82% humidity and this uber has NO AC

Before Bladee, we had Kid Cudi

There is a stark difference between peanut butter m&m’s and reese’s pieces. It was necessary.