“Those who do not remember the past need a History teacher who says Fuck a lot.”

There is no such thing as “universal truths”. There are no Always, no Nevers, no All the Times, nor Everyone’s or Nobody.
There is an exception to the each fact and truth.

Based on the percentage of Americans who actually vote in municipal elections (arguably the most important election), we need to shut up about being a democracy. We obviously don’t give a fuck

I wonder how beautiful the weather will be when the world leaders decide to destroy us all

The dragon hoards are getting bigger and bigger. And now that the dragons are fat off our labor, they no longer see our importance.

The more you speak, the less people listen.
But the more you do, the more people watch.

Trump wants to be considered a type of modern Midas.
Except, looking at his business success rate, I would have to quote the kids and say he’s “Mid Ass” at best.

I can’t believe Mitch McConnell is retiring right before his dreams of destroying democracy materializes.

Checking his trading card 🤷🏼‍♂️

People think teachers teach because we like kids. The truth is that most of us don’t want to live in the same town as a bunch of stupid kids.

If my neighbor attacks me and tries to steal my yard, does that make me a dictator?

Person: Do you like AI?
Me: It can AI deez nuts!
Person: That literally does not make any sense.
Me: Well, you can LITERALLY not make sense of deez nuts then 🤷🏼‍♂️

The binary political party nightmare we all live in will be the death of us as a nation.

There are three types of people. Which are you?
1. Those whom make things happen
2. Those whom watch things happen
3. Those whom wonder what happened

I feel like the worst member of every group I belong sometimes

I missed a sportball game between birds and some others and I think people watched it

We thought we beat the Nazis is ‘45.
But 45 came again and became 47.

Don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you.
The only reason things look bad today is because they actually are real fucking bad.

Most religions are basically the same:
“Let this old ass book tell you why you are a piece of shit”

If white supremacists like being “white” so much, how come they always cover it up with such horrible tattoos?

Why is it called my Birthday Suit if HR keeps telling me it’s inappropriate even on my birthday?

Yep. That sounds about right 😂

For all those on the MAGA train, please remember this valuable parable:
Don’t be so much in love with your president that you can’t tell when it’s raining.

Overheard a student in the hallway: Man, Mr Quint is mad again.
Other student: Why?
Original student: I don’t know. I don’t pay attention in class 🤷🏼‍♂️
Me: THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW EXACTLY WHY

When people ask why I dress up to teach high school, I just tell them I enjoy cosplaying as an adult.

I’m so tired of my students only caring about class when it’s time to post grades

I have a feeling after the rapture, we’re just going to be stuck on Earth with only mega churches

Make America Anti-fascists Again.
#MAAFA

Monday is gonna SUCK

Whatever good man creates, another man comes along and ruins or perverts it to their own selfish desires.