Nooooo Iran please don't attack petrol billionaire vanity projects in Dubai and Riyadh and Abu Dhabi cmon not the giant towers and artificial islands noooooo please not the monuments dedicated to the hubris of wealthy sociopaths 😭😭😭😭

No more Mountain Dew at midnight for me

Woke from a dream with my head full of cursed words

Mife: male wife
Spo Day: a male spa day (bro + spa)
Mossage: massage from a dude
Macial: a facial treatment for a dude
Mub: a tub for males (???)
Me-laxation: this is just solo relaxation

Unrelated, also the 80s slogan "Say No to Dougs"

I only like ice when it has been submerged in a liquid for a long time.

When you're absolutely done with a silly gen z meme about numbers

I don't care what people think, I'm going to remember that Carrie Fisher had other roles besides Leia Organa!

If your idiot relatives or friends talk about how Trump wants to cap credit card interest rates at 10% for a year and the libs will be mad about it:

(1) he can't, not with an executive order

(2) Bernie and AOC put up this legislation last March, to cap at 10% for 6 years. It hasn't been voted on

The internet: people with low intelligence have difficulty or an incapacity to entertain hypothetical situations

A few random geniuses: there's no way that's true

Internet: but what if it was?

Geniuses: but it isn't!

Going forward I'm going to be challenging myself to call it AN, as in "artificial nonsense", for two reasons:

For one, there is no intelligence involved.

For two, I will do so to distinguish it from my authentic, completely reasonable and fully intended nonsense that a machine can never replicate.

go Katie go

more like charlie cuck amirite

lol okay sure why not

evangelicals really out there defending Kirk with the same enthusiasm of a tabernacle choir singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

I love it when the kuato of a navel orange is all nice and juicy sweet num num num

Skydance is gonna buy Paramount for $8B, 0.2% of which will go to Trump to settle a dumb lawsuit, and 18.75% of which will go to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who just emasculated Trump on their first episode of South Park in 2 1/2 years.

How's that feel, Larry Ellison's nepo baby?

She's NOT an easy lover
She'll get a restraining order on you, believe it
Like many others
Before you know it you'll be on a tweet
She's not an easy lover
She'll reject your heart and you will feel it
She's like another
And I'm just trying to make you seethe

H L Mencken said that when you point a finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Yeah, well

When I point my thumb at myself, four fingers are pointing at my monster dong.

Fuck him and the guy who rode in atop him

you can lead a gift horse to water but you can't make him Greek

Retitle a regular film but use porn site titling strategies.

I'll start

Young twins absolutely WRECK old man's gigantic ball after he rides their dad's big shaft

gonna start a betting pool for how long before jim breuer says something absolutely off-the-charts stupid for fox news clout again

First fire pit burn of 2025. AMA

can we tariff the fuck out of shen yun

So goOo on, goOo on
Come on, make me breakfast

Or whatever the Corrs were singing

yeah if your video is TTS captioned over gameplay of someone bouncing around Minecraft I'm just not going to watch it, in fact your internet access should be permanently revoked, sorry gonna have to be a dictator about this one thing specifically

Holy shit. If you have a Denver library card, you can get access to Udemy for free. This is an incredible benefit if you're interested in learning tech skills.

www.denverlibrary.org/udemy

Taco Bell sauce packets are the Buc-ee's billboards of condiments