Ollie the Octopus

open.spotify.com/show/1vglYSf... Ollie and the Malfunctioning Toaster

Trump Imposes Tariffs on Remote Islands Some of the more sparsely populated territories in the world that do little trade with the United States have been caught up in the trade war.

Take that, seabirds www.nytimes.com/2025/04/03/b...

A completely serious question.

When people, and businesses, and institutions with the resources and reputation to stand firm…don’t, where does that leave this country.

cc Paul, Weiss. And Columbia. And so many others

When I was a Hill staffer in 2009, a Dem trifecta was trying to pass universal healthcare. In response, Senate GOP released a memo detailing all of the tactics they in the minority could use to delay the effort as much as possible. I'm recirculating that 2009 GOP memo here. Take inspiration from it.

This octopus is a big fan of the @dropouttv.bsky.social gang, my favorite parasocial relationships. Congrats on selling out Madison Square Garden! What an odd and hilarious thing, occasionally this decade isn't a nightmare.

Anyone else way more bothered by TikTok being cozy with Trump than they were by TikTok being connected to China?

Tangentially, with one exception, I have no idea if any of you a: listen to my eponymous bedtime story podcast or b: even suspect my secret identity(s)

Given that Rumchata: Peppermint Bark is 14% ABV, it is therefore morally equivalent to drinking a classy red wine.

I dunno what AI is actually gonna be good for, but apparently the total mass of the birds given in the 12 Days of Christmas is approximately 600 kg.

Do the Baltimore dirt bike people have a secret training ground where they learn how to wheelie? They always seem so good at it

Also, autocorrect tried to change Valinor to #Baltimore and I'm here for it.

But, like, in what meaningful sense was Saruman ever the "head of the order"? He let Radagast go hermit and the blue wizards wandered off before the story even starts. Two functional wizards is not an "order." Did Saruman organize the Istari bridge club back on Valinor or something?

A Venn diagram showing Drive Time DJs on one side, Sisyphus on the other, and "Bringing you the same great classic rock night after night" on the overlap.

Morning, everyone

Two firefly squids (Watasenia scintillans) swimming in the dark. It is too dark to see their bodies except for their glowing blue photophores which cover their whole body.

Several firefly squids (Watasenia scintillans) swimming in the dark. It is too dark to see their bodies except for their glowing blue photophores which cover their whole body.

A firefly squid (Watasenia scintillans) swimming in the dark. The top side is illuminated, letting you see its orange mantle, large eye and translucent white arms. The bottom is not illuminated, and only their glowing blue photophores are visible.

A firefly squid (Watasenia scintillans) swimming in the dark. It is too dark to see its body except for its glowing blue photophores which cover their whole body.

Firefly squids (Watasenia scintillans) are known for their absolutely stunning bioluminescence. Their bodies are covered with blue and green chromatophores.

Unlike most cephalopods, firefly squids can see in colour. They have three different cones just for blue light.

#SQUIDtember

Earlier today I paid a middle-aged theater kid to alter a squirrel-pelt vest so it fits me. Nothing in this thread is fictional.

Just hypnotized a group of 5th graders to get them to sleep, dropped a jar of cardamom, punched myself in the genitals, and poured myself a glass of ham brandy as a nightcap. What, you expected me to do normal human things?

Your mom #savedYouAClick

So, humans, is running on a treadmill the athletic equivalent of running actual distance? Or is it more like a way to attach numbers to jumping up and down for a long time?

This keyboard might be the biggest flex I've ever seen in gaming

I may not be able to summon optimism about the future of our democracy, but I can still overeat and set things on fire

I'm into it

I think some of you might be cannibals, is what I'm saying

Sooo... Do you humans, like, know that a lot of you smell like ham a lot? Even the vegetarians? Just wondering, no hate here.

I just spend two amazing days bumming around Roman ruins in the south of Italy, so my contributions to #CephalopodWeek are these two absolutely stunning more-than two-thousand-year-old mosaics from the apodyterium (changing room) of the women’s baths at Herculaneum

They should be picky. It's a high-stakes game for them

I'm just sayin, as a cephalopod. Cats are mammals, and I would pay top dollar to try cheese made from cat milk.

Right? I aspire to be as hardcore as this reviewer

Cool, the US is gonna build rail transit on THE MOON but we still can't have our streetcars back here on Earth

Has anyone tried making a xylophone out of bones, like in the cartoons but for real?