turbo jerry

Reality...2 big thumbs down

Asking strangers wearing Santa hats if I can sit on their laps.

“i fold.”
- housekeeper, playing poker

this xmas is gonna be better than last year’s i can feel it in my bones nope that’s the osteoporosis nvm

lmao just calling it like I see it! 😂🫶🏼

extremely likewise. we’re going to try RFA first but I have low expectations. what I need is a fusion but ,,, 😮

definitely relate to that… i have a constant clicking with each head turn 😭 I’m sorry homie. At least you’re still extremely hot!!

ugh yes, the rapid decline is likely the most disheartening thing of all, I definitely relate to that. my worst spot is 5-6 with a herniated disc, bad stenosis, and bone spurs. each year it gets worse 😭

please use an organic streak free cleaner after conclusion of the twerking this is a community oversized aquarium you’re living out of

metal af

😭🫂 ah man that’s rough. are you in a lot of pain? sometimes they read worse than you actually feel? the good news: no stenosis at 2-3 and 3-4!

may i try a bite?

I’m like an octopus in the sense that I kill and eat my mate after sex

homie how bad was it? always down to commiserate on my trashed neck

fucking banger 😂

i do not like living out of boxes i want to live out of the unusually large aquarium at the dentist’s office

Alexa, how can i tell if my notifications aren’t working or if im just being lame af

Words can hurt, so choose your words wisely you fuckin piece of shit

you never know they could smell good

edging (letting my laundry sit one more day in the washer)

can’t stop, won’t stop

king advice

real

edging (letting my laundry sit one more day in the washer)

i want one of those grimy santas one that looks like old snow on the side of the road

after two sneezes there are no more blessings only damnations to hell

ok that’s fair & same smh 😤

when I see someone driving really fast I think oh poor fella probably has diarrhea

ok but what about the size queens who revoked Pluto’s planetary status????

canceled