Greazy Wil

I hate compilation porn because it just makes me realize how much porn I’ve seen in my life

10:30 is far too early to stop serving breakfast.

There is only one thing worse than Lee Greenwood’s proud to be an American song and that is some asshole singing it loudly and out of tune

The worst feeling in the world is being shot multiple times and feeling the misshapen metal rip its way thru my body. The second worst is meeting someone’s dad while on cocaine

The greatest part of being a musician is I can say “I had cocaine for breakfast” and no one even bats an eye.

Not me believing you actually went to Paris for waaay too long into this joke

I don’t do drugs because they’re cool, I do drugs because I’m cool

If you brought someone from 1950 to today and showed them porn on the internet their head would explode

Country music used to be punk. It used to be “fuck the man.” Now it’s just about “how deep can I get the man into my throat?” Bootlicking sellouts. Long live the outlaws.

I STG the boomer generation sucks soooo bad. Can you even imagine having a mid life crisis that wasn’t about how I can’t afford a house at 40+?

I know it’s a little late but I’m really trying to get fired off this job so I’m just gonna keep posting the most offensive Charlie Kirk material I can think of.

Charlie Kirk faked his death to escape to South America with his gay black lover. I have proof

Been locked out of my blue sky account for like 2 months but I had to get it sorted out so I have a place to post my unhinged thoughts

They’re using them like shotguns. You don’t direct fire gas canisters at people. That’s how you kill with “less than lethal”

Elongated Muskrat and dumpy pants taco boy are beefing and I haven’t been this happy about a feud since my parents decided we’re having two Christmases

If my girlfriend ever asked me for a threesome I would assume it was just part of an elaborate plan to let her murder me and get away with it

Yeah like I said. What is it?

I didn’t know what quinoa was so I looked it up. Still don’t know.

Every time I start to believe someone’s theories on a subject I immediately think of all the times I have spoken with confidence and authority about a subject despite having absolutely no idea what I’m talking about and that’s why I’m a skeptic

High tolerance levels to drugs and alcohol isn’t cool, it’s a fucking curse. My gf gets lit off a half shot of vodka. I would do anything to have that super power

Meanwhile, I’m just over here wondering how Bane was the bad guy after stealing a billionaire’s money and putting all the rich assholes on trial and then sentencing them to death

It’s rare that I see a war movie where I’m like “yeah that was way worse than what I went thru.”

This is amazing.

I think this is the right way to do this. Inform people politely. The internet has this habit of becoming more toxic in the process of correcting someone than the original person was being. Someone who clearly doesn’t know that’s considered offensive shouldn’t be attacked

I want this series but Bill Belichick is the love coach that teaches them how to attract a partner.

Drugs are only cool when you do them. Otherwise they’re just evidence.

I’m 100% sure I’m cool because my credit card will make your tongue numb

Sometimes I get drunk for just like no reason at all.

Smelled weird and was kind of sticky in a weird way