The Flying Child

Next writing group for adult survivors of child sexual abuse starting in February!

Date: 2nd Feb
Day: Mondays
Time: 12.30-2pm

6 week, online course. FREE!

Please get in touch!

Groups@theflyingchild.com

@TNLComFund

I just absentmindedly asked a colleague if they could ‘check for spelloes’ instead of typos or spellcheck.

I think it’s my new favourite word.

A lovely letter to All Survivors....Wishing You much peace, support, and self-care this Christmas. 🌟😍🌟

Thank you so much for reading 🌸

Thank you to the survivor community for your support this year. Please take a moment to read our ‘Year in Review.’ We couldn’t do this work without this support. Thank you 🌸

theflyingchild.com/so/f2Pit776t?l…

Thank you Bear for this piece. I know it's difficult, but raising the facts about child sexual abuse within the family still appears taboo. @theflyingchild.bsky.social is worth following for insight into a whole swathe of violence against girls (in particular) .

Thank you x

Dear Survivor at Christmas: A Survivor's Take on Surviving Christmas This is not a blog to debate whether or not survivors of CSA within the family should or shouldn't cut off all contact with their families. It’s a post to acknowledge that neither decision is an easy ...

“This is not a blog to debate whether or not survivors of #CSA within the family should cut off contact with their families. It’s a post to acknowledge that neither decision is easy. Both come with challenges - mainly a huge amount of sadness or grief”

www.theflyingchild.com/post/dear-su...

#csa

Boundaries or Barbed Wire - a dangerous tool? | The Flying Child

glad to be a speaker for this panel event about #boundaries - a topic I have LOTS of thoughts & feelings about! with @theflyingchild.bsky.social & Survivors' Voices www.theflyingchild.com/event-details/boundaries-or-barbed-wire-a-dangerous-tool #counselling #therapy #retraumatisation

There were the long afternoon naps - one small, sticky boy hand clamped firmly on my ear. Fingers probing and tickling with an ownership so resolute that at times I wanted to snatch myself back. But I never did. Sophie Olson

Because I knew this was how it should be: Touch. Reassurance. Mother and child. Safe. It was a touch I learnt to accept as it evolved from the trenches, and the shocking, upside down-ness of life after my first birth, when time lost its meaning, and my world shrunk to now. Sophie Olson

I’m currently writing workshops for #midwives and #healthvisitors. The aim is to increase understanding of how CSA can shape pregnancy and early parenting experiences, supporting greater awareness and empathetic practice. They will take place in Jan as part of a wider programme

#survivorparenting

Beyond labels slide on a screen with a no photos or videos image

Today it was our Beyond Labels workshop. Dr Lucy Johnstone & I worked with attendees to reframe the narrative - looking at an alternative approach to medicalising trauma. Everyone was very engaged, and discussion was valuable.

#SideBySideCSA
#16daysofactivism #csa @recovery-histories.bsky.social

Be stronger your children need a mother.

At least you have your own family now.

We don’t need to bring up the past.

You’re choosing to stay stuck.

God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.

Everything happens for a reason.

Hurt people hurt people.

END 🧵

Don’t even give it a second thought I’m sure he’s not.

You being over-sensitive.

Your needs are too complex.

Survivors are a bit… you know… clingy.

Try to rise above it.

Think about how it will affect the family if you speak out.

5/

You are very resilient (you’ll be fine).

You need a thicker skin.

Don’t let it get to you.

You’re stronger than that.

Maybe you should move on.

Find a way to forgive.

4/

All of the following words have been said to me or to other survivors. We hear words like these everywhere - from media to family. In healthcare, education, religious and support settings.

These phrases are invalidating, shaming, offensive and harmful.
3/

There must be a shift in the way society responds to us as survivors - the way we feel/survive is frequently misunderstood or judged. The negative perceptions chip away over time, eroding a sense of self-worth or exacerbating feelings of shame.

2/

Image of butterfly with injured wing flying from an open hand. Text reads maybe we were not meant to grow thicker skin but to find gentler hands

#16DaysOfActivism

Support for survivors of CSA isn’t solely about 50 minutes in therapy rooms, support groups and guilty verdicts. Therapy and groups end. Court cases re-traumatise. Regardless of verdict, the trauma still exists. 1/

The 2025 theme of #16DaysOfActivism against gender-based violence is online abuse.

1 in 3 women experience gender-based violence in their lifetime.

16-58 % of women and girls face digital violence.

There is #NOexcuse for online abuse.
There is NO excuse for ANY abuse.

Beyond Labels - creating narratives with survivors of trauma A CSA survivor and clinical psychologist-led workshop introducing the Power Threat Meaning Framework, a hopeful alternative to diagnosis.

Join this online workshop on creating narratives with survivors of abuse snd trauma, on Dec 4th at 2.00 pm. With @theflyingchild.bsky.social and Dr Lucy Johnstone. #PTMF #PTMFramework

www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/beyond-lab...

AI image of two oranges Text reads: Orange is not silencing impact on study and gaps in CVs and futures in silos. Not let victims speak but only as tick box and stay in her lane or do they mean cages. Orange is not just 16 days. Or cycles of bone-crushing weight of lives not spent living or earning or heating but running from fist in her face or in dreaming. It’s one and the same when staring at empty. Orange is not experts who speak for the voiceless. Hers too fragile they say for their spaces. Not greed-centred salary. Casual misogyny. Or placing the bridle of doubt and pathology. Because they know best and she’s a scolder (they meant to say fighter) but that one’s disordered and this post’s out of order. Don’t you think? She says survivor. I say man hater

In the context of #16DaysofActivism, the colour orange represents a future free from violence against women and girls.

This year the campaign theme is #NoExcuse for online abuse.

Violence shows up in many forms. I wrote a poem because of posts on LinkedIn that felt hypocritical.

Orange Is Not 🍊

We won't run
We're here to stay
Howling ghosts they reappear
Mountains that are stacked with fear
But we have Lion hearts
Though far away
We are still the same

Survivors are Lion Hearts ❤️❤️🦁
Be Lion-hearted

With Love
@theflyingchild.bsky.social

King & Lionhearts
youtu.be/A76a_LNIYwE?...
Image

We are delighted to welcome our newest board member. John (Baker)Gregor. John has been a professional actor for over thirty years,working in theatre, television, short film @theflyingchild.bsky.social @drcisme.bsky.social @johndbnldn.bsky.social
@ailise-bulfin.bsky.social @hazelklarkin.bsky.social

Storylines about CSA can help people recognise their own experiences. They can spark empowering and healing conversation.
I didn’t have that talk with my boys as it felt too raw but I will. 🌸

Thank you @bbceastenders and particularly to #jessiewallace for getting it right

End 🧵

#CSA

Fiction can be a mirror so clear it physically hurts. I see my child self in Kat and in other storylines in books/films/shows.
That’s why storytelling informed by lived experience matters - and why I’m pleased to advise the @Csarepsproject . csa-in-fiction.com 5/

When I disclosed, I was told:

“We thought he was like that, but we tried not to leave you alone with him.”
It might sound harsh, but I’m not sure they tried hard enough. 4/

Watching with my sons (13 & 11) felt important.
I wanted them to see what some families can hide - the lies at the dinner table, the rewriting of history, the silence around “that” relative -
The ones we suspect or know about but protect. 3/

If you’ve watched the Kat/Zoe/Uncle Harry storyline, you’ll know how devastating it is - and it’s resurfaced again. As a survivor of CSA/rape within the family, watching Kat tell her son Tommy that Zoe was conceived through rape was hard to watch. 2/

My two youngest have started watching @bbceastenders.bsky.social
- and while the storylines can be intense, they open up important conversations that are harder to start. 🧵