Kelsey Hammer

Need fewer write ups about how This Game Is Making Very Weird Guys Angry Again

And more write ups like "we spoke to the choreographer(s) of the Just Dance 2 Rasputin routine about its continued cultural impact"

Proof that dogs are actually human beings

Both our dogs are super empathetic

For me that coach for the Dolphins has the vibe of a post-college secret work crush who’s charming and flirty but I pretend not to care then later I get drunk on cheap beer listen to Yaz and cry knowing he’s really just trying to make the hot cashier jealous there are so many ways to enjoy football

Thou shalt not allow polio to come back you stupid fucks.

A brown-haired woman stand before a court in a red drass with a black waistband. She appeals to the judge "your honour, I may have committed mail fraud, but I can also do the entire Kate Bush Wuthering Heights Dance." She extends her arms forward in front of her, then does a flourishing pirouette. The judge bangs his gavel. With great intensity he shouts "I've seen enough! Not guilty!" The women looks humble in her legal victory.

This is some fucked up shit.

If you want to understand why healthcare pricing is horrific, the first thing to know is that our system puts 100% of the credit risk for deductibles, copays and co-insurance on hospitals and doctors. That's insane.

We have turned them into Sub Prime Lenders 🧵

Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone

Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble

been noticing a tendency to see art with a huge amount of likes and minimal reposts on here lately. just a gentle reminder the lack of an actual algorithm means people can only learn about artists and their work if you actively share the pieces you like!

Live your life in such a way that the whole world doesn’t find your murder to be a karmic joke.

Let’s be clear: the entire democratic world thinks the US healthcare system is a joke.

"It's bad to leave Twitter because-" We live in a society run by weird little billionaires who would prefer we are all unhappy so we keep spending to get occasional hits of dopamine. It is okay to leave the website that makes you feel horrible. Go & be free.

For a guy who had nothing to do with and knew nothing about Project 2025, Trump is sure picking a lot of Project 2025-associated people for his cabinet and staff

Do you ever watch Sense & Sensibility and marvel that Kate Winslet got to sit in a comfy chair on a sunny day in England and have Alan Rickman read poetry to her

just saw wicked. the green lady could defeat the pink lady in hand-to-hand combat easily and i am tired of being told this is Not So

Make art that you think is fuckin sick as hell. Make the shit you never thought you could that you always wanted to see. Beat your insecurity to death and fight to become your own favorite artist.

Your purpose on earth is not to argue with people who intentionally want to misunderstand you

This isn’t a popular Johnny Cash opinion but I think after Highwayman he should’ve done a lot more songs where he flies a spaceship

Custom feed socials, I dig it. ✨