Faro

just worked a 10 hour shift and for the last hour my 40 yo colleague who dated a 17 yo 3 months ago decided to put on rave remixes of classical music on max volume

[smiles to my penis] look how far we've come

God before he invented pussy : man this whole thing sucks innit

still wild to me that the Blair Witch Project is real and the Blair Witch exists and she just gets to be an influencer now like nothing happened

the Joker watching a movie and he turns on motion smoothing on purpose. hes not really paying attention btw hes like plotting something
Harley is annoyed tho so hes laughing at that. i think

man I really liked that movie what did you think of it ?
man that hasn't smiled in 12 years : idk i guess it just wasn't my cup of tea

plugging a controller into my ass and controlling my eyes with it. heres an idea for you indie devs out there

The way some of you talk about Twitter refugees would make Marine Le Pen blush

Lmfao

wishing I was 13 again playing Ghostbusters for the DS and driving Ecto-1 around while the Ghostbusters theme is playing and I get to trigger the siren at the perfect moment in the song while drifting around in virtual NYC

can't go to work today boss. ghouls and such

what if a New Yorker was also fat. potential

not gonna bother giving my mom a gift this Christmas. I got her "Why There Is No God" last year yet the dumb bitch still says bless you every time I sneeze

this one is the one Dan

father this is giving me sinful thoughts

rather kafkaesque

give them the food. they need it more than you

my dad broke his Wordle win streak and immediately went to buy a rope and stool at Home Depot

inaccurate. you just demonstrated self awareness of the dogshitness of your posts

building the pyramids doesn't sound that hard. I bet I could do it if I wasn't iron deficient

going Toy Story mode and freezing at work every time my boss enters the room. I can't yet figure out what I will gain from this but I feel compelled

On October 4th FEMA and the FCC will conduct a test of the Emergency Alert System (EAS) and Wireless Emergency Alerts (WEA), which will include a notification on cell phones.

This has panicked conspiracy theorists, who for some reason believe it will turn vaccinated people into zombies.

and I'm small, AIN'T I ? get it like "anti"
hey so I know you're not comfortable with me making these jokes anymore so I really thought about it and I wanted to ask should I kill myself

I think you should have 1.4k. I'm just that nice of a guy