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everything is very hard right now but unconditional love has found me 🥹

Falling in love with my bf all over again every time he makes me feel seen.

The most beautiful man in the world texts me goodnight everyday 🫶🏻

lmfao

that kind of unconditional love could save me

I wish I had a cat to love and cuddle and provide for

I wish I was gifted something extremely personal at least once. I’m grateful for everything people have given me but I think I’ll always crave the trust in the love of someone who knows exactly what you need, even if that’s the smallest, less “remarkable” gift of all

I’m only alive because I have a little hope for our future together but everything is so difficult idk if I can wait to get there. I’m not strong enough to push through everything

i would have been forced to drop out earlier if it wasn’t for his support but i can’t keep asking for help. I’m useless

crying in pain too weak to get out of bed after a long but normal day of lectures whilst deadlines pile up and will be missed… I keep wondering do I kill myself or do I drop out of my degree but at the end of the day they are the exact same

I don’t think I’ll ever know what it’s like to have my needs met or to feel like I’m worthy of effort

I just can’t do this anymore. I have no idea who I am and feel like a shell of myself. Just waiting, forever waiting to be enough

I always have to ruin every single good thing I have in my life

Too overwhelmed to function, I’m drowning and not coping with the amount of work I have to do. Even Bev will kick me out of the house one of these days, my mess keeps piling up everywhere. Idk what to do with myself, I can barely get dressed in the morning

hope one day i can experience this

there are times all I want is a simple homemade meal cooked with love by the person I love

I’ll just cry myself to sleep again, I wish he was here I need a hug

I’m so scared of dying from cancer that it makes me want to kill myself… agency

I wish I didn’t have to worry about money at all like I didn’t in the first 3 years I spent in London. But that was the problem anyway

it’s too expensive if useless though

maybe I should try therapy again

that’s the real difference. But my heart aches for that girl who so desperately wanted to love and be loved and yet she always felt like it was being taken away from her. I loved so much, but can anyone be loving enough if they trust they aren’t loved enough? I need to understand this, I need peace

I’ve moved on, I’ve accepted my feelings. But then I can’t let go of Ahsan telling me I’m more loving now, he is right I’ve realised... but why? Because when I look back I remember loving so intensely, feverishly, that I struggle to accept I’m more loving now. I think I’ve learned how to love and

person I was but I can still see and then feel her pain so clearly. There were times I truly believed I was an unlovable monster and I was deserving of physical pain I’ve experienced ever since. Sometimes I still believe that tbh, but feeling like I wasn’t loved despite trying so hard broke me

Whenever I go back into my camera roll/messages/memory back to 2023 I always end up in such emotional pain, I’ve forced myself to forget so much in order to survive but I never got closure and sometimes it still haunts me. I’m a fundamentally different person now and I don’t really recognise that

Matcha souffle cake is giving me a similar experience to what people with adhd describe when they start their meds

I just know me and Bev could bring back diaristic schizoposting without considering the audience if we so desired

bro fuck off 😂

Sometimes I wish there was something similar to prayer for people who don’t believe in God and then I realise how ridiculous that thought is ontologically speaking, but it makes me empathise with those who have a God.