eaumechant

The Telegram logo with the word "Telegram" replaced by the logo of The Telegraph, a right wing UK newspaper.

Hi all - I made this image to express some of my feelings around the increasing use of rightwing extremist rhetoric in UK mainstream media. Feel free to use it however you see fit.

#ukpolitics #farright #media

2025 jon: well i have some good news. nin is still making kind of cool sounding songs

2005 jon: badass

2025 jon: yeah its for a disney movie thats why. they made it for a disney movie. nine inch nails made their best sounding stuff in 20 years for disney. dont ask about any other future stuff btw

trying to avoid the subject of my secret fight club after running into a coworker at target while pushing an entire cart full of bandaids

sniper looking down his scope at the stone wall i'm ducked behind and seeing a note slowly poking out from defilade that says WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM then on the flipside RE: SNIPING

you know what sound i really can’t stand, is the sound of a person dropping their stupid fucking phone on the floor. that heavy, tumbling thud. just so symptomatic of how dumb these things make us all

Gorgeous

"Scotch, neat," the woman orders, dispiritedly pulling up a stool. "Ugh make it a double."

"Sure!" I say, the world's least nosy bartender.

An altered bluesky DM inbox screencap. There are three messages. The first two from predictably botlike scantily clad ladies, Alice and Sandra. Their messages read Hello my baby & Hello my honey The third is from Michigan J Frog, his cartoon pfp as you'd imagine, tophat in hand. His message reads Hello my ragtime gal.

Wow, what are the odds?!

Professor Gloretz: I’m going to ask directly, have you been sleeping in the rock tumbler?
Me, gleaming, hairless, head a featureless sphere: Professor, I know I’m only here as a favor to my late father

[sees Pikachu, Grogu, etc.]
Everyone loves the tiny cute animal with massively OP destructive powers, maybe I can get rich cashing in on that
[calls my character Pingu and immediately gets sued by the Gutmann estate losing everything]

just tried to search for an “archeologist” emoji. typed the full word of “archeologist” and everything. Doesn’t work. Doesn’t FUCKING work

getting on stage during an open mic and saying what's up with white women these days then laughing uncontrollably for the rest of my 5 minutes

THE PREDATOR (TALKING TO HIS NEXT TARGET AFTER KILLING ME): pee pee. poo poo. i'm from planet diaper. i love to eat crap. what else. what else
ME (GHOST): man don't say that part

Tale as old as time,
He watches her back,
While she watches his,
And they both do crime.

"Fireworks? I sure hope it does!"

My erotic dioramas made one of the judges at the art show throw up, so I feel like I’ve already won

I'm long on mauling bear

I feel like this one has been done but can't find it anywhere online so here it is again I guess

Catfishing my teenage son to make him think he's going to score so he cleans his room

Packaging for a bag of stoneless dates with the label: "Stoned Dates"

Trying to quit drinking but can't face the dating scene sober? Try

Who up boxing they day

"You Only Die Once," the most controversial entry in the Bond franchise, is only 2 minutes and 32 seconds long. It consists only of the iconic spyglass opening, with the variation that Bond is shot and appears to bleed to death.

I would love to write the theme song for this. It would end on a big swell on the words "You... Only... Die..." and then just cut to black with the text "James Bond will not return"

"What's parsnips, precious?"
"PAR-SNIPS"

If I see a jolly old man in my house carrying a sack the size of a body you better believe I'm gonna jingle that cunt all the way home

She red on my nose til I reindeer

*An elf cop pulls Frodo riding an ent over*
Elf Cop: Where ya going?
Frodo: To throw a ring into a volcano!
Elf Cop: Step out of the treehicle

Tired: based on a true story
Inspired: based on a false premise

Quora Question: Why did The Big Bopper always act like he was on the phone in his songs? Patrick Young: He didn’t “always” act like he was on the phone. Your question is based on a false premise.