izz ellie

This poor lil cricket is 100% terrified of me esp considering I just stuck my phone in its face for pics

I went to find it before I went inside and BAM gone again, never located

BAM fears of cricket in my pants reinstated

I don't know how our hunter ancestors survived this adrenaline

The little things make it worth it 🥲

Esp bc I initially lost the cricket and got scared it hopped behind me near my butt

#nature or something, I don't know. I'm trying.

I knew the moment my cat stopped hanging around her human dad after he went to bed, she'd be out in the living room ready to hunt the cricket in the stairway landing / entry.

I was a bit late, but I safely escorted this loud af juvenile out, obviously lost af, and now it's chilling under a leaf.

Hello, workers compensation?
I need to document, uhh, getting my ass kicked by a 2nd grader.
Pictures? Oh, here's 73815 of my bruises from just today.

They trademarked the lactobacillic bacteria in my probiotic wtf

I am losing my fucking mind again 🙃

Don't mind me, I'm just having a panic attack about not being able to eat, making myself further unable to eat

And then I'm panicking about wasting food for the 1500th time

Catch me passing out in the imminent future, which i will also feel irresolvable guilt about. Yay.

that one Mitchell and Webb scene, "are we the baddies," is obv relevant to a multitude of shit rn

but I don't know whether to laugh or, at least shed a single tear, bc I saw somebody use "numberwang" re: current events and it....actually perfectly fit.

is this real life

I don't know why I thought i could manage a football game today when I've thought, "hmm I might need a doctor imminently" at least 3 days this week

I didn't even make it to my seat before I felt like I was going to pass out or projectile vomit. Weeeee.

(also clarifying this isn't a, "they aren't capable," thing. This is a, "this feels like bullshit make believe I couldn't explain to my ancestors sometimes")

I don't care how mad I am about my husband Jacobi murdering me 200 years ago. If you try to teach me about credit scores and securing a mortgage against my will as a 19th century farm wife, I'll exorcise my own damn self outta there. Fuck you.

I could be really wrong here, but has anyone tried to teach poltergeists, ghosts, & the like about modern financial literacy?

Pros:
+ toilet was a much more appropriate size for toilet-hugging activities

Cons:
- my coworkers now know I sound like the receiving end of an exorcism while vomiting
- I'm pretty sure I need IV fluids but I ain't got insurance for that shit and the va hasn't been helpful so 💀
- ow / ahhhhh

I've felt awful the past few days, but I persisted bc I can be overly sensitive.

I almost passed out like 5 times, still persisted, and then ended my work day 6h early by violently throwing up in a humorously small toilet, sized for kindergarten kids.

Certain things make me hyper-aware of american food and my own inability to 'find' my words as quickly as I want

It was today, as I almost dropped my cheese-filled burger in the shape of a hot dog, when the thought, "oh no, not my burger...schlong!!" crossed my mind.

Everything is making me real fucking sad, part 74309

AND AS IF THINGS COULDNT GET WORSE
One of my neighbors killed the daddy long leg that kept greeting me at my door like a puppy

AND IVE SAVED LIKE 5 WASPS THIS WEEK
which ig is good but I had to report their continued existence bc they're in our class & all over the playground :(

first day of school yesterday, found out my aunt who had heart surgery last week is going into hospice, and my uni denied my app for a special ed program

I am bad at life and overwhelmed weeeeee

BREAKING NEWS
this friend has all 8 legs
this is not my 7-legged friend at all, but an imposter
I will still welcome them but
CHUCK, WHAT HAPPENED TO CHARLIE?
only spurders in the building type of shit tbh

I literally just saved it from destruction this afternoon bc it b&e'd my apartment for the first time. Sweet baby child, I know it is getting colder but I am not your mom.

I came on here to complain about the fact I've shown a daddy long legs mercy too many times, jokingly, as I sit on my step smoking.
I was ready to say this thing sees me like a mom.
As the app loaded, I look over & who do I see? My lil 7-legged child staring directly at me as it sits on the wall.

please mark today, Aug 30 2025, as the first time I've been content with the eyes I've drawn

Do my proportions and shading need work? Yes. Are they soulless and haunting like usual? Somehow no. Good job, me.

sometimes you have to come to terms with the fact that you are someone who saves wasps and, if presented with more wasps in need of help, you will continue to save them

Im beginning to think I am just very bad at verbalizing anything in my head and need to take a vow of silence or go to like, a puppy socialization school?? Do they have those for grown humans??

You ever just tryna go about your day when you get caught off guard by a random, "if you fell back off this chair like you have 100 times before and cracked your head open you'd probably die and be here til tmrw cause nobody gives a shit about you," and then you're like, "hmm...yeah"

On today's episode of "confusing permissive parenting with gentle parenting," we listen as ppl say it doesn't work at all bc their nephew strangled someone

Like.
What

There's something about (1) my ex I've been divorced from for 7 yrs giving cops my number when he got arrested for a dui and (2) transcript records falsely showing i attended uni in a state next to them last year that just.....oof my anxiety levels.

working in a school and trying to go back to school and neither the work school year or the school school year have started yet so you're just anxious all over about st you thought you'd never have to worry about again bc ahhhhhhh school

me to myself, making art:

this kinda reminds me of quilling
i wonder if there's a name for what I'm doing
sounds like something i'm gonna google
yup...
...but what if I didn't
what if I just ignorantly decide I created a new thing without checking...
I'm gonna call this #gaypop

I've had a lot of lows, but my aunt using Hitchhiker's Guide to get me to shut up and stop rambling so she can go to bed is a new one

How tf are you gonna tell me, "thanks for all the fish and goodnight" in a serious tone 😭
I don't know if I'm more angry or impressed rn