Wilde Butch

If you still wear a mask & take precautions to protect yourself and others from COVID-19/other infections:

Thank you for saving lives and for putting people before the status quo. Every time you wear a mask, test before/after going to crowded events, and stay home when sick, you make a difference.

I'm so goddamn tired of saying this but: this is it.

All the worrying that trans folks have had since he took office? This is why. This is the first step on a short road that ends with the criminalization of trans existence in the US. It isn't doomsaying. It isn't panic. It's right in front of us.

You cannot trust someone again if they aren't willing to accept that what they did was wrong and that they are responsible for repairing the harm they did

Coddling only serves to cement their belief that they don't have to actually change or grow or do better

Forgiveness is earned through actions

The belief that the supporters of oppressive systems are just misguided and deserve to be protected from the consequences of their actions is in many ways one of the hardest beliefs to unpack but also maybe the most essential to unpack bc there cannot be justice or equity without accountability

Oppressive systems are often very Nice and it can be very comforting bc the world is pretty harsh especially when most of your community is online

But Nice and Kind aren't the same thing
And being comfortable is not the same as being safe

And at this point it should be embarrassing to mix those up

It's inappropriate and counterproductive to building reader trust for the editor in chief of a journalistic publication to write opinion columns. Simple as that. Always been that way, too.

Methods are incredibly important when it comes to activism it's why we argue about them all the damn time

But if you are not careful you will fall into using the methods you are most familiar with which tend to replicate oppressive systems

So listen to criticism
And reflect on your methods

I as an individual might not have the systemic social power to replicate a binary in a large society sense but I might do it on a smaller scale with a friend group or a local queer club which can greatly impact other individuals access to safe spaces and resources
so yeah it matters

Obviously I'm not talking about silly jokes

I'm talking about when people make arguments that there are only two sides to complicated issues

A group that is positive and good
(that of course they belong to!)
Vs
One that is bad or limited or wrong
(Usually bc they had a bad experience)

"You're either THIS or THAT"

Sweetie pie honey bunches of oats that is what we call a rigid binary

The construction of rigid binaries doesn't magically get less harmful just bc you're the one doing it and you don't currently have the social power to globally enforce it

Kids raised in poverty are painfully aware that life is filled with challenges and limitations

They don't need more reminders of what they are surviving

They need to be shown that more and better exists and is possible for them

One of my fav childhood memories is a Halloween I got really sick and missed trick or treating so my mom took me to the store and let me pick out anything I wanted

I knew not to pick too much
But feeling like I could choose what I wanted and not what was on sale or cheap

Was breathtakingly fun

Not the first to say this but as someone raised in poverty don't do this

Part of protecting children
Is defending a kid's joy

And nothing kills the holiday joy like being reminded that all you have to eat is rice and nearly expired canned beans

As a kid I would have rather gone hungry

Any candidate who wants my vote needs to state that they unequivocally support trans people's right to exist in peace. This is not a big ask.

Look all I'm saying is sometimes we come up with something that sounds incredible bc it's such an amazing clap back but the better part of wisdom is understanding that it sounds soooo cool bc it's mean af and saying it out loud in public is going to cause more fuss than we want to deal with

You've heard of
If you're gonna be dumb you better be tough

But less well known is

If you're gonna use a snappy one-liner or a perfect clap back that is also exceptionally mean and divisive on a subject you know is deeply emotional and fraught... you better be tough

"bUT iTs rEaL fOR ciS HeT wHitE mEn"
No it fucking isn't
But even if it was... at all this point y'all cannot be dumb enough to believe that scoping it to the most privileged group of people is going to magically erase the harm such rhetoric does to trans women

Most of what I post isn't anything y'all (men) need to weigh in on

Y'all will just embarrass yourselves

So do yourself a favor and learn to walk on eggshells bc what y'all think of as eggshells is often just being considerate

If you don't want the sharp side of my tongue then mind your manners

To the Men who follow me
(cis, trans, or nb)

LISTEN UP
Y'all start out on thin fucking ice with me

I believe in being kind and that yall have the capacity and skills to exceed society's basement level expectations of you

But do not mistake my kindness for willingness to put up with your bullshit

I know that being online gives the illusion that everything is open to being argued

But this is not the case
And I'm drawing a hard boundary for this

Take down this comment or get blocked

You can argue for defending male socialization even as just a concept on your own page but not on mine

Right?!? Like every time I talk with a trans woman about her girlhood it's just a more intense and traumatic version of something similar I went through as a cis woman

It's so ridiculous

I think there may be better ways to articulate this point then and I urge you to reflect on why your impact was maybe not what you intended

It is a far better framing to say we are all socialized under patriarchy

Bc plenty of women uphold and defend patriarchy not just men

And it is our other individual identities and lived experiences that shape how patriarchy is taught to us and what aspects of patriarchy we internalize

Hey don't do this on my page. I am clearly not saying they don't both deserve empathy

I am pointing out a way that trans women get dismissed

So "both sides"ing this conversation is not appropriate bc it removes focus from the harm that I am pointing out

The lived experience of cis women who were raised rich vs poor is also wildly different but rarely weaponized to deny that women raised in poverty are less authentically women

The idea that male socialization exists as a distinct or universal experience is stupid

Oh for sure people have a nasty habit of co-opting terms from communities whose authority they don't think they need to respect and with only the most shallow understanding of the term and then misapply it wildly to defend their shitty opinions

It's infuriating

Reminded today of how deeply - to the bone marrow - angry I get when someone implies that cis women's/AFAB childhoods are super special, exclusive, and extra victimizing experiences of misogyny
🙄🙄🙄

Especially bc it's only ever brought up to deny or dismiss trans women talking about their girlhoods

The way it ends is with a government that is centered on serving THE PEOPLE all of the people. Trans people, disabled people, queer people, Black people, immigrant people, children, mothers, and everyone else. We will not abandon each other for stability for some privileged few

This is the last I'll say about covid and masking for today

If you're someone who isn't consistently masking bc it's "too hard"

I'd like you to stop and consider
If someone said "it's too hard" about any of the systemic issues you care about

How would you react?
And what makes masking different?

It’s a *teensy* bit annoying how many people care more about the East Wing getting knocked down than, say, stripping a huge proportion of trans kids of their lifesaving healthcare.