Jsut when I got the winter bedding out it’s fricking boiling FFS

YOWSERS. Even Lidl is expensive for me now. Sign of the times

Will this be on your OF account?

Question: am I organised enough to get days of the week panties yet?

Huh?

I doubt it knowing your taste

a troll doll with pink hair is standing in front of a pink background . ALT: a troll doll with pink hair is standing in front of a pink background .

I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

Actually gorgeous 🥰…. Leads me to believe you didn’t take them.

🤢 😅🤣🤣🤣

Your sleep messaging is top tier

In retrospect asking for stuff to be delivered on the evening of Halloween was a mistake

a woman laying on a bed next to a pizza box that says pizza i love you on it ALT: a woman laying on a bed next to a pizza box that says pizza i love you on it

Why are you holding up your phones to talk into them like it’s a slice if pizza? Mmmm…pizza 🍕

Gonna need to see some proof on that

I’ve never seen you jump in the whole time I’ve known you. Weeble yes. Jump or anything resembling exercise. No

This is why no one speaks to you

I still can’t figure out how to make the microwave show the correct time so it looks likes I’m just gonna have to wait it out again until it does tell the time again. That’s going to make life confusing

About 20 odd peeps jsut roller skated by house …what’s going on and why was I not invited?

Then eats you alive

Are some websites that aren’t age restricted using the age verification checks to steal your ID deets off you? I think they are.

Cuddling up with this gawjus girl was one of my fave Friday nights I’ve had in a while tbh

Huzaah! This is always the sign that the festive season has begun …

The thing about those kids who you forgot existed who grew up during Covid and Brexit... They watched the crap you pulled and then grew up to be angry adults who could vote... so anyway they’re here now so it time to reap what has been sewn 🤷🏽‍♀️

Very much looking forward to my pop-up shop on 1st November 11am/3pm. Please message for more details. Plan is lots of slices and large florentines and official opening of the Christmas Orders Book.

NEVER!- mainly so you don’t bother murdering me. Cos I KNOW YOU TOO WELL

It’s cute that you miss me. I’m doing the writing challenge. 50,000 words in a month

elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a wall of flames . ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a wall of flames .

The devil’s portal. Touch it and it’ll take you straight to hell. WHERE YOU BELONG

It’s your gimp leash

Help!My EarPods are taking over…i never figured out how to control them&they somehow found out…now they’re randomly phoning people up…if you don’t hear from me again find my EarPods, smash them with a hammer&burn them so their evil is extinguished from this earth...maybe send their ashes into space

Is it cos you’ll need a wee?

Idea stealer. Stop stalking me