grilled cheese 🧀

for the baseball newbies watching the world series tonight, just an FYI -- if a player catches a fly ball in their mouth and accidentally eats it, it's technically still an out.

i am beside myself with this mirror

you need to find a pillow engineer from boston. dream guy.

bostonians always do

you gave them the night of their life

The hotel I stayed at in Boston text me that they want me to visit again. Like omg, so obsessed with me.

I was voted spookiest bitch at bingo last night, just like the prophecy foretold

Captain, we’re about to enter the wormhole.

Worm: Nope. Not on a first date.

you're like that secret track on an album

THIS.

hey bub, why don’t you make like a tree and grow deep, stable roots that’ll nourish and sustain you for years to come

Sub-skeet warning in effect until 6:00 PM Eastern for the following counties:
Hamilton, Marion, LaFayette

pokeballs but to store all my favourite shitposters

No it’s fine there are no small normal forks left, I can use this large weird-shaped one that for some reason offends me to my core

what do you mean the garage isn’t for sale

caturday post

[exam room]

doctor cat: okay next i'm going place my hand right here beside your testicles while we do the hernia test

patient cat: are you asking me to cough up my fur balls?

bro biologists won't even agree on the definition of "alive" you think you can get them to back you on "two genders" lmao

When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

I just would like a long warm embrace, if it happens to be "of death" that would be fine too

It’s not over, I won’t let it go. 🎃

what if you burned day and night told no one for what good would it do for them to imagine it as the worst they'd had the most they could and one day they told you that you knew nothing of their pain so you said sorry you're hurting and sat with them where they were that you'd already been what if

Horrifying if literal: NBA tip off

no matter where you fall on the political spectrum, it’s important to vote:

My phone just changed the word ‘face’ to the word ‘car.’ I hate the new auto correct on this thing

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way

this End of the World needs a jump to recipe button

translation: "i will squeeze the democrats by letting americans die until they give me my way."

You can now preview 2026 ACA insurance premiums on healthcare.gov.

A family of four in Maricopa County paid $514 a month for their ACA plan in 2025. Next year, that same plan will cost $2,435. That kind of increase will be devastating for thousands of Arizona families.