James Kass

And yet, still fewer delays than Newark.

Last time Booker was on my TV this long I just got my copy of "Bioshock: Infinite" and played all weekend.

Wrong James Kass, but interesting reading!

My kingdom for a Reporter who can ask a decent follow up question when they don't answer your damn questions the first time.

Did she take it down? I thought it was a Instagram story, they only exist for 24 hours.

Trump is such a baby. What's the matter, is the pwesident afwaid of a widdle cold bweeze?

I sincerely wish Trump was a lot more like Jimmy Carter.

And y'all can take that aaaaaany way you want to.

#ripPresidentJimmyCarter

I've only ever seen the Daddy Warbucks version.

I'm not exactly saying they're the same person, but has anyone ever seen @maklelan.bsky.social and @anthonyjeselnik.bsky.social in the same room together?

"Look, just because you rescue me from Bowser a dozen times doesn't mean I'm your ATM"

"But my credit score, it's-a terrible!"

For that price, it would be cheaper to just hire some professionals and have them perform live in your own living room.

"Temu 8Chan" sounds like the name of another one of Elon's kids that won't speak to him anymore.

He never spoke again after that. Even though his last words to me were "fair enough", deep down I knew he was really pissed about my answer. (5/5)

I thought about it for about twenty seconds, then confessed, "I suppose I would. But if it's any consolation, a cousin of mine was bitten by a barracuda once."

The fish stared at me, closed his little eyes, then, with a disappointed sigh, said, "Fair enough." (4/5)

My fish continued: "So, let's say there's some sort of natural disaster, there's no food in the house, and your only option for sustenance was me, your pet fish."

"Okay...", I replied, understanding the scenario.

"Well, I guess what I want to know is: would you eat me?" (3/5)

After what seemed like two or three minutes of him just looking, he spoke up: "Hey, can I ask you a hypothetical question?"

Somewhat stunned, I managed to reply, "Um.... well... sure." (2/5)

When I was in my 20s, I had a fish that could talk.

Seriously.

One day, I was sitting in my room, feeding it those little fish flakes, and as I watched them slowly sink deeper into the tank, he sensed I was there. He stopped nibbling, swam up the glass, and stared at me. 🧵 (1/5)

If there isn't already a YouTube channel called "Feeding Random Junk Food to Broadway Legends", this is proof that there needs to be.

a close up of a cat with the words `` hmm ... '' written on it 's face . ALT: a close up of a cat with the words `` hmm ... '' written on it 's face .

Hey Elon: People trolling for attention pays your salary, asshole. Why buy Twitter if you hated this kind of behavior?

Or is it because the comment is a little too close to the truth?

More like proof of Hathor.

Unlike judges, you can almost always find one within your price range and get the same intended result.

My 7 year old watches enough British cartoons (Peppa Pig, Alphablocks, Ben & Holly) he should know how to do the accent, but when he tries, he sounds like Joe Pesci.

Okay hear me out: a reboot of The IT Crowd, but starring the cast of New Girl.

Ten F*cked Up Things My Mother-In-Law “Actually” Said As We Watched “Love Actually” Together. Don’t watch a Rom-Com with your wife’s Mom.

Tis the season for #LoveActually, so time to repost the epic story of the time I watched this crazy film with my "no filter" Mother-in-Law while my beautiful bride was in the hospital recovering from childbirth. If it gives you a laugh, please share! medium.com/@JamesKass/t...

I was thinking different Diane vibe: Diane Ladd in Christmas Vacation

Not sure who can make this happen, but I humbly request a Jack Black cover of Fiona Apple's "Fast as You Can". Thank you in advance.

Pope Gregory VIII is gonna sue your ass now!

She looks like she's about to tie herself around the old oak tree.

I don't let my kids curse all the time (they know not to do it at school or when Grandpa's around), but I try not to be too strict about it either. I'm like the MPAA: I like to keep them at PG-13. They're allowed an F-bomb or two but any more than that and they know they're in trouble. 🤬

My 7yo couldn't recall the word "obviously" so he said "ofcoursely" instead and I'm going to start using it now because it should totally be a word.