Piss Hawk

Making little "ergh. argh" noises as I sit in my little chair taking 1hp damage hits from Tummy Hurt Disease

If only there was some movie that offered a societal warning about the pitfalls of losing one's humanity in pursuit of an AI that sounds like Scarlett Johansson

Posting is millennial cigarettes. We all started doing it at thirteen to make friends and now we're all addicted and it's ruining our lives.

It's either her most self-aware song or her least, depending on whether "the Man" she's referring to is a cool dude, or the embodiment of white male capitalism. Unfortunately she's almost definitely talking about the former.

once I heard someone say somewhere "there's no fool like an April fool" and the ontological discomfort this produced in me never really wore off because the circumstances necessary to produce such an utterance feel arcane, unknowable, and inestimably distant

I have a long held belief that conservatives cannot understand narrative and have no ability to deconstruct story whatsoever. It’s like some kind of universal comprehension barrier that they all share. Talking to them about literally any piece of media is actually a stunning experience.

I am increasingly convinced that we cannot afford to imagine a radical politics that fails to drastically tear down both the cultural and actual power of doctors.

SOMEONE WHO HAS SPENT THE LAST THIRTY YEARS BEING SPIDER-MAN CLONE SAGA-PILLED: why is nobody talking about the fact that “the unknown” from the willy wonka experience kinda looks like scrier from the spider-man clone saga

Nandy really epitomises the feeling that the political class basically lecture us while reading from a book that's upside down. A powerfully stupid and amoral person.

Chewbacca hornily looking at Luke and Leia making out even though they are related. I don’t want to check that Space Dog’s Pornhub history!

Look at how into it he was

WAITER: Your meal comes with three sides.
ME (imagining a delicious triangle): Excellent.

Michael Caine Scrooge: “Spirit, please, I’m Christmas-pilled! I’m no longer going Scrooge Mode!”

All this time I could have been using a bracelet to track a gorilla, and instead I've just been wasting my life?

IM FINALLY ON BSKYB TO SOREAD SOME #GOODVIBES

Can't argue with that

One factor in Barbie's success that I feel is being overlooked is how starved audiences are for a film that's bright enough to actually see what's on screen.

Finally made it over here to Twitter Mark 2. So far it seems less full of dickheads?