@robwoodyard1.bsky.social
Freelance Writer: Late Show w/ David Letterman, etc. | Reasonably enthusiastic brand ambassador for Toughskins jeans | Slobberin' Citizen
Maroon 5'10"
12.11.2025 05:02 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Wow, looks like 6'1" JD is really 6'6" #GOPMath
12.11.2025 05:00 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Flabby Road
12.11.2025 04:59 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Did he cadge those oversized brown shoes off a stiff?
12.11.2025 04:59 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Relief bitcher
11.11.2025 03:06 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Quarter-Pounder Back
11.11.2025 03:00 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0The head coach of the New York Pigskin Football Giants was fired today after reportedly refusing to replace winless 47-year-old starting quarterback Eli Manning with rookie Chad Powers #Giants #NewYorkGiants
10.11.2025 19:05 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Susan "I'll Sell Out My Own Constituents for a Buck" Collins smirking in the background while a Democratic Senator details the fallout from children losing SNAP benefits pretty much sums up this country's political state... #shutdown
10.11.2025 03:25 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Not nearly enough attention is paid to the number of boats and airplanes that disappear every year in the Bermuda Rectangle
08.11.2025 09:12 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0He's grabbing that rail tighter than a Big Mac in a windstorm...
08.11.2025 03:34 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Project Runaway Bride
07.11.2025 03:22 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0This marriage is even fishier than Moses Mike's
07.11.2025 03:21 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Turns out "Big Beautiful Bill" was referring to everybody's 500% higher health insurance premiums... #aca #shutdown
06.11.2025 23:36 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0It's impossible to tell which side is which in the MAGA Civil War because they're all wearing the same uniforms and driving the same jacked-up $80,000 pickup trucks which curiously never seem to be hauling anything in the back except an occasional piece of high-end outdoor patio furniture.
06.11.2025 18:11 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
Be a Pepper
06.11.2025 05:53 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
The license plate should read "83 IF" #PaulMcCartney
06.11.2025 04:12 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0is she married to Bigfoot?
06.11.2025 04:01 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0A-Hole Foods
06.11.2025 04:00 β π 6 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0Bag Lots
06.11.2025 04:00 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Oh, that's right...forgot that all my R friends get to keep their ACA coverage
05.11.2025 23:23 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0Calling people "libtards" and "socialists" online is all fun and games until your cult leader yanks away your family's health insurance just like he and his puppetmasters repeatedly promised to do... #FoolMeThrice
05.11.2025 23:09 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0Curtis Sliwa should definitely demand a recount. I mean, he only lost by 968,000 votes π #newyorkcity #mamdani
05.11.2025 05:57 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Hoping I'll be able to collect enough MAGA tears in my rainwater barrel tonight to water my newly aerated lawn for the next week... #electionday #newyorkcity
05.11.2025 04:06 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0"It puts the conditioner in the shower basket."
05.11.2025 03:23 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0"Gee your hair smells horrific"
05.11.2025 03:23 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0It would be totally fitting if this game ended up 28-3 #CurseOfKyle #SundayNightFootball #Commanders #Seahawks
03.11.2025 02:33 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Damn, the #BlueJays are so out of pitchers they're about to put Justin Bieber in for the 11th... #WorldSeries #Dodgers
02.11.2025 04:01 β π 4 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Holy shit, that's the way to get out of an inning... #BlueJays #WorldSeries
02.11.2025 02:32 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0The guy in charge of attaching the cushions to the outfield wall at SkyDome is about to get fired π βΎοΈ #WorldSeries #BlueJays #Dodgers
01.11.2025 03:09 β π 7 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0We'll know Ohtani has a gambling problem if he suddenly decides to take next season off in order to pursue his dream of playing Triple-A basketball. #BlueJays #WorldSeries
01.11.2025 02:29 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
