🐶

*trying to relate to the younger generation* well well well, I was something of a youngshit passoid when I was your age, too

If your bottom needs to prepare, its because they don't really love you. If they really trusted you, their body would know to wipe clean when it started absorbing your oxytocin.

In the quest to find quality entertainment for my neice's bahtmitzvah, my latest plan is to attend a "furry convention" and then hold up every single "protogen" there at gunpoint until two of those bastards finally come clean and admit they were French band "daft punk" all along

I'd appeal if I selected either trans___ female options and got marks reducted, but that's just me.

On second thought, it was a mistake to attend this feminist conference wearing my "The Future is Futanari" tshirt

Being a puppy is lowkey goated??? No. Wrong. A baby goat is a kid. A puppy is some dogther thing

KID A IN ALPHABET LAND EXISTS AS A MEANS OF PERSONIFYING ABSTRACT LACANIAN CONCEPTS. IRONICALLY, RADIOHEAD'S ALBUM, KID A, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LACAN OR THE CARD GAME. IT WAS NAMED AFTER A SEQUENCER FILE CHOSEN FOR ITS NON-MEANING, PERSONIFYING THE ALBUM WITH ABSTRACTION ITSELF

Saw a down-and-out in Seattle last night. His sign said not "I need food" or "I need a job" but "I need a Macro MILF Lactating Dragoness". What could this mean?

My Republican Neighbour: "Come and take it!"

Me: *scratching off serial numbers* Okay :3 Yayy ^w^

If a pretty girl has some poppable whiteheads tho... 😳

What can I say, I use a foundation and primer that my skin doesn't hate

When Fidel said "la historia me absolverá" do you think it was because he was a freak like me? Do you think its because he knew it will one day be normal to eat ass and suck toes? I can only pray.

Thank you for caring!!

But do they deserve to?

No one wants to lick a public toilet. Everyone dreams of a beautiful woman that will order them to lick a public toilet in such a tone that they cannot refuse.

Me too!

One only acquires a bubby's experience by doing!

Bring some proofed dough to your temple's kitchen then! I am sure they won't mind!

Oy, no latkes then either?? I use the same oil afterwards for them, so I hardly think of these as the big strain on my air quality!

Sufganiyot... are they really worth it?

Got so fucking sweaty at the MMA gym

Girls keep on asking me to stab them

I was born in the right generation. I love k-holing and being pet like a puppy

Let her Kitty Flip!

Women can do anything. Incredible.

I love it when a sturdy old piece of furniture groans and creaks when you sit on it. Like you're causing it pain but its still dutifully providing for you. So beautiful :')

white hair, half his face is blue. close enough. welcome back, Black Jack.

I think I am still unfamiliar with the bsky interface l

Oh shit!