Mike

Ah yes, a trophy of hands reaching for a ball presented by a governing board of a sport where it’s a penalty if your hand touches the ball. Truly magnificent

I think that’s a double edged sword. You’re inviting him to ramble even more

“Why you being fitted at the tailor? You getting married?”

“Nah. Just a travel tux for that 3pm flight”

Nope. Die Hard 2 set at Dulles airport during Christmas with William Sadler, Fred Thompson, John Amos and Dennis Franz.

Well, now that it’s settled, I think we need to turn our attention to more pressing matters: is Die Hard 2 a Christmas movie?

Chuck Schumer: when tepid responses in the face of war crimes are too overwhelming

The white former governor of a state named after its indigenous non-white people wants to play gate keeper of the nation’s population. Checks out

Assignment: the study of sustainability and how it pertains to the culinary arts

Submitted work: long winded negative Yelp review about how the restaurant ran out of jalepeno poppers

What most call confessing, they call bragging.

They can take any issue that causes thousands of horrible and needless deaths and deconstruct it down to “Old Man Yells At Cloud”

“We’re ready to raid those freshly built plants.”

Why does they look like the slugs from Star Trek III?

Worst PEZ dispenser ever

Hey, when these beloved airlines lose your luggage after a 4 hour delay and nearly cancel your one and only chance to get home to see your loved ones for the holidays, it’s because you didn’t love America enough

a man in a suit and tie is kneeling on the floor and saying `` i didn 't even see it coming '' ALT: a man in a suit and tie is kneeling on the floor and saying `` i didn 't even see it coming ''

Who knew this would happen with a moronic, unqualified drunk ex-Fox contributor helming the military?

So the strategy is “the more you buy, the more you save” on a macroeconomic level. Got it

Ok, but if I have to see Arch Hall Jr singing…or just see Arch Hall Jr, I’m out.

Meh, after a weekend of being surrounded by his normal racist sycophants, he’ll demonize Mamdani as a communist by Thanksgiving

She saw the videos of despicable white people threatening to call ICE and thought, “I can do that.”

Not everything collectible should be packaged as a blind box

What in god’s name is old fashioned about stuff you buy at a supermarket?

You know, I wonder if it’s one of those optical illusions where the makeup on his hands looks lighter than his face but they’re actually the same color and he just looks awful.

Fine print: paid in 1000 annual installments of $1B.

It’s utterly reprehensible to let the gruppenfurhrer elf on TV like he’s Schwarzkopf during Desert Storm.

When uneducated, untrained and unqualified people are put in these high ranking positions, is it any surprise they end up looking like the buffoons we expected?

Yes, the housing crisis is being prolonged by those pesky building codes. Why can’t I build a 10 story high rise with the same materials as a rural ranch house?

Reminds me when Ted Cruz liked a MILF video which he blamed on a staffer. These Texas guys 🤷‍♂️

Paid out in a no cash voucher for Trumps crypto-garbage

FWIW, I’ve never had to work remote and think I would miss the engagement with coworkers (good and bad) and get tired of interactions being scheduled via web meetings. All while being too easily distracted. But I’m for those that can do it to avoid the added cost/stress