dom

Monday

The fact she named them house elves is crazy in hindsight. Like are there field elves too?

You call it pacing I call it Think Walking

Soup ingredients in a slow cooker. Corn & jalapeños on top. Are those black beans peeking through? Wonder what it could be. Bet it smells so good.

5 and a half hours from now feels like a lifetime away

Orange cat with a big stretch as he wakes up

Big stretch from the young fella to start the day

If I met a Bigfoot or a even a juvenile Sasquatch I would shoot it in the head

Lady putting coffee in her butt

Incredible

Film critic reviewing the NFL: Jalen Carter is a berserk nightmare, a behemoth-aspirant fever dream on crack, Kirby Smarts definitive pass rush acid trip

Draft analyst watching a movie: (replaying the same Goodfellas clip 4x, once in slow-mo) Look at what he does here… BAM! Wow

(doing improv at the fremen sietch) man, these guys are uptight. let's see if my spit take routine can lighten the mood

repost this if you hate israel

I’ll fuckin follow anybody on here idgaf. Who am I to turn my nose up at anyone

Now I just don’t have to deal with nazi rage bait which will take getting used to. What is being calm like again?

This shit rules. I have years worth of tweets I can repost on here and also get 0 likes on

How funny would it be if Elon were to Segura his body next time he jumps up to do that stupid x

*to the tune of The Soprano’s theme*

Woke up this morning, sucked some dick and balls

Hey Jack, let us save our drafts on here please

Not a chance that this is really Elon’s dad because I doubt his real dad would claim him in his social media bio lol

Not a chance it’s really him lol

I feel stupid for feeling sad about it, but I am.

McGruff the crime dog in his signature trench coat

Always felt like McGruff should’ve had a hat on to make his look more unique. With just a run of the mill trench coat, I often mistake him for other beloved detectives

I would never let Jesus take the wheel. He’s never driven a car and I don’t need some daddy’s boy dipshit jacking up my insurance

Do any girls wanna come over and ignore me

I forgot how to use a site like this that isn’t filled to the brim with Nazis and Rage Bait

Never met a hot girl with more than 1/4 in her tank so you’re good

what about InterYellar and Matthew McConaughey has to travel through a wormhole to shoot his dog

a hotdog eating contest except there’s no time limit and it’s only me eating like 70 hotdogs over the course of 5 hours until someone is like “wow this is actually just sad at this point” then i struggle to wolf down another and everyone is like “dude just stop” but i don’t

Welp :/

Mother of God twitter is terrible now I might have to switch here for good

Wankenstein and the monster can’t stop jacking his spooky meat

i’m spooky how? like i’m a monster? i spook you? i make you scared? im here to fucken frighten you? spooky how?