cpuk (trampoline park connoisseur and occasional comic printer)

Tell you what, lads, bet the discover feed is a delightful place to be just now.

It’s the only way to keep the passengers from going postal.

Golden opportunity to pivot from this nonsense in the wake of the by-election and they double down instead. Waste of space.

Refugee status to be temporary as Shabana Mahmood rips up rules on UK asylum Home secretary announces 30-month protection limit, with refugees required to leave if their home countries are later judged safe

Party’s cooked, lads. Stick a fork in it.

Not a thing I’ve heard of, but I’ll look up anything!

10mg of melatonin: “I’m literally the maximum dose. You can’t actually give any more of me, but you wouldn’t need to because I’m enough to put anyone to sleep.”

Tilly, who spent 3 hours on the trampolines today: “didn’t hear no fucken bell.”

I have so many questions and for the sake of my sanity I want none of them answered.

Me, playing RE7

See I know this isn’t true because I would respect that. And I will never respect you, so this is one of those paradox things that can’t happen.

That’s “put me on a list” behaviour.

Leaving all else aside: I am a forty one year old man. Why in the world would I want to listen to a book about teenagers so pervasive when I was growing up that I know every story beat despite not having read or seen them all?

Again, the fervency with which audible pushes the Harry Potter full cast recordings at me as “recommended based on your listening” (almost exclusively weird horror) suggests that it’s not taken the world quite by the expected storm.

Thought I’d get an early night. Must have forgotten that Tilly exists.

The Horror on the 33 starring Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny

Don’t get me wrong, I am a Danhausen fan glad to see him get his bag, and I’m also pleasantly surprised to see “being a friend of Pepsi Phil” pay off for someone for once, but this is just not going to work.

Oh god. You’re entirely right. And they’re going to put him in a program with the Wyatt Sicks that they don’t know how to run.

Quicker to count the other way I imagine

I like the darts scene. I can also imagine that four seasons of the darts scene would be so saccharine I’d lose a foot to diabetes.

Well that’s me told. They won’t know how to use him tho.

Marriage counsellor regretfully writing to Sophie.

Life hack! Create a contact in your phone’s favourites list labelled “bae”, or “partner”, or “primary sex care provider” or whatever and then simply update the number every time you enter a new relationship.

Pleasantly uncomplicated, I imagine.

An aesthete of the highest order, yes.

Where will you be in October when Peter Mandelson resigns in disgrace from his position as Supreme Leader of Iran?

world-altering decisions are being made by a cabal of gambling addicts hell bent on self enrichment no matter the cost to humanity, we should look into that.

Be a cold day in hell before you catch me pressing X to interact with the creepy-ass unpostmarked letter.

Oof. I just read your post in the most uncharitable, pedantic way possible, and I gotta tell ya: it's not looking good for you.

It’s not that I’m not romantic, it’s just that I’ve played enough video games that if Sophie went missing for several years and then sent a mysterious communication out of the blue I would 1000% not investigate that.

Oh god.