Cobra C’Amanda

So you’re telling me NFR doesn’t stand for National Feral Rodeo?

People think my Mastif mix and GSD mix give me scary dog privilege, but my mini Aussie mix just tried to fight a goose.

no, there is no Algorithm. it's 34,612 gerbils tap-dancing on a google sheet

Every member of 38 Special looks like they could be played by a drunk Matt Berry.

The break room is for mental breaks. Tuna salad is not allowed.

i appreciate that one of the narrative conceits of the new scream movies is that the children of a serial killer inherits the serial killer instinct to stab like some kind of superpowered mutation

Why am I lying awake having imposter syndrome over being paid to make my lil videos when *gestures towards cabinet picks* exists?

I teach in Oklahoma. What should I do with the tRump bible that Ryan Walters is going to send me?

getting drunk off vodka is so foolish. oh no this potato water got me acting crazy, listen to yourself

LL Cool Beans

Walgreens bot: i’m sorry, i didn’t quite get that

me, sobbing: REFILL PRESCRIPTIONNNNNNNN

I have not stopped watching Lethal Company streams, I have simply graduated to Brutal Company streams.

Forbidden boop 🥺😍

Today in things I wish TikTok never showed me: apparently white women have discovered laying their edges and they are calling it “sticky bangs”. 🤦‍♀️

www.instagram.com/reel/C2adVqt...
Comment sections about this story on other sites have folks saying we should feed these kids dog food or euthanize them. It’s appalling.

If we’re not able to laugh at ourselves once in a while, please respect our decision to be super uptight.

I wish I could smell this photo

There are so many trigger warnings, but hardly any jerk alerts

Does anybody have a death metal version of the Living Spaces jingle?

you ever watched pandas closely for like five minutes? those mfs are actively trying to go extinct and we’re all “oh no you don’t, let’s roll you back up this hill”

remembering why I built up all those coping mechanisms in the first place

TIL: raccoons apparently love chicken bones.

I really do.

Last Christmas
You gave me a horse
And the very next day
It ate all my hay

Why doesn’t @hulu.bsky.social have an anime streaming service called H-uwu?

Pepto bismol is just plan B for nachos

If anybody wants to know what to get me for Christmas I’m a size beaver nuggets at Buc-ee’s.

That’s not the only thing in my cupboard growing eyes.