Cloud: Want to play the kissing booth game?
Tifa: Thatβs not how kissing booths work.
Cloud: It is if weβre the only ones in line.
Tifa: β¦Youβre gonna make me fall in love with you again.
#cloti
@incorrectcloti.bsky.social
Incorrect quotes, memes, and jokes attributed to Cloud and Tifa, the iconic, canon pairing of Final Fantasy VII. Parody account for fun only.
Cloud: Want to play the kissing booth game?
Tifa: Thatβs not how kissing booths work.
Cloud: It is if weβre the only ones in line.
Tifa: β¦Youβre gonna make me fall in love with you again.
#cloti
Cloud: I won you this giant chocobo.
Tifa: You spent 800 gil on rigged ring toss.
Cloud: You smiled when you hugged it. Worth it. Would do again.
#cloti
Tifa: You said youβd help me clean.
Cloud: I was helping.
Tifa: You passed out on the hammock and trapped me under your arm.
Cloud: Teamwork.
#cloti
Tifa: Why are you staring at me?
Cloud: The popsicleβs melting.
Tifa: Itβs literally in my mouth.
Cloud: Yeah. Thatβs why Iβm staring.
#cloti
Tifa: I didnβt even do anything today.
Cloud: You existed. Thatβs enough.
Tifa: Thatβs not how this works.
Cloud: [kissing her temple] It is in my heart.
#cloti
Tifa: Why are you looking at me like that?
Cloud: You fit so perfectly here. In my arms.
Tifa: Youβre gonna make me cry.
Cloud: Good. Then I get to hold you closer.
#cloti
Tifa: Cloud, why are you laying on top of me like a weighted blanket?
Cloud: You looked emotionally unstable and I panicked.
Tifa: Youβre not light, you know.
Cloud: [already nuzzling in] Iβm emotionally grounding.
#cloti
Cloud: I cleaned the whole house.
Tifa: You didnβt have to!
Cloud: You smiled at me this morning and I blacked out and now the floors are sparkling.
Tifa: You love me that much?
Cloud: β¦I mopped the ceiling.
#cloti
Tifa: Why are you smiling like that?
Cloud: You walked into the room.
Tifa: Cloud.
Cloud: Thatβs the whole reason.
#cloti
Tifa: Cloud⦠are you asleep?
Cloud: [absolutely not asleep, holding her tighter] β¦mm.
Tifa: You just squeezed my waist.
Cloud: [fake-sleep voice] Muscle reflex. You're comforting. Donβt move.
#cloti
Tifa: Morning.
Cloud: [already awake, staring at her like she's a sunrise]
Tifa: β¦Are you okay?
Cloud: Iβve been trying not to cry for twenty minutes. Youβre so pretty when you sleep.
#cloti
Cloud: You drooled on my arm.
Tifa: Thatβs fair. You talked in your sleep.
Cloud: I did?
Tifa: You said, βDonβt touch her, sheβs mine.β
Cloud: [goes completely still] That⦠tracks.
#cloti
Tifa: You donβt have to be jealous.
Cloud: Iβm not jealous.
Tifa: You just pulled me into your lap in front of an entire market.
Cloud: [muttering] Territorial instincts activated. Sorry.
#cloti
Tifa: Did you just growl?
Cloud: He touched your elbow.
Tifa: He was handing me a napkin.
Cloud: I donβt care. Your elbows are sacred.
#cloti
Cloud: You snore a little.
Tifa: So do you!
Cloud: [grinning sleepily] Weβre sonically compatible.
Tifa: β¦Iβm gonna marry you.
#cloti
Tifa: Youβre staring again.
Cloud: [quiet] Iβm trying to figure out how I got this lucky.
Tifa: Iβm literally wearing mismatched socks.
Cloud: Yeah. And Iβve never seen anything more perfect.
#cloti
Tifa: Goodnight, Cloud.
Cloud: [softly] Wait, one more thing.
Tifa: Yes, Cloud?
Cloud: Just needed to hear you say my name one more time.
#cloti
Tifa: You brought me tea, turned down the bed, fluffed the pillows...
Cloud: [serious] Your peace is my mission.
Tifa: Youβre ridiculous.
Cloud: [whispers] Ridiculously in love with you.
#cloti
Tifa: You okay? Youβre kinda fidgety.
Cloud: Iβm trying to fall asleep but you keep breathing all soft and beautiful.
Tifa: β¦Cloud.
Cloud: Itβs distracting. Stop being gorgeous in my bed challenge.
#cloti
Tifa: You can sleep on your side, you know.
Cloud: [wrapped around her like a blanket] I am on my side. Your side.
Tifa: Cloudβ¦
Cloud: Shhh. Iβm being cozy and emotionally available.
#cloti
Tifa: Youβre pouting.
Cloud: I am resting my face.
Tifa: Youβre pouting because I stopped stroking your hair.
Cloud: [pointedly silent]
Tifa: [already petting him again] You big baby.
#cloti
Tifa: Why are you staring at me like that?
Cloud: [very serious] Iβm just overwhelmed by how you're real.
Tifa: β¦Cloud.
Cloud: Like you exist. In my actual life. On my actual couch.
Tifa: Iβve literally lived here for three years.
#cloti
Cloud: [carrying groceries] I got you that chocolate you like.
Tifa: You remembered?
Cloud: [avoiding eye contact] I remember everything about you.
Tifa: [blushing] β¦Even the embarrassing stuff?
Cloud: Especially that.
#cloti
Tifa: You donβt have to impress me.
Cloud: I know. [long pause] Iβm doing it for me. I want to be the kind of man you deserve.
Tifa: [melts into the floor]
#cloti
Cloud: Youβre cold.
Tifa: How do you know?
Cloud: You do this littleβ¦ scrunchy face when youβre cold.
Tifa: [blinking, smiling] You really pay attention, huh?
Cloud: [quietly] Only to you.
#cloti
Tifa: Did you fix the loose strap on my backpack?
Cloud: It was squeaky.
Tifa: You also refilled my water bottle and put a granola bar in the front pocket.
Cloud: You skipped breakfast.
Tifa: Cloud, youβre the sweetest secret boyfriend ever.
Cloud: Iβm not-
Tifa: Not yet.
#cloti
Cloud: So. I had a thing I wanted to tell you.
Tifa: Okay.
Cloud: β¦I think youβreβ¦ reallyβ¦
Tifa: Yes?
Cloud: β¦really good at math.
Tifa: β¦Thank you?
Cloud: [mutters under his breath] Also I love you.
#cloti
Cloud: Is that my jacket?
Tifa: [innocent look] I donβt know, is it?
Cloud: β¦Youβre never giving it back, are you?
Tifa: [pulls it tighter and grins] Nope.
#cloti
Mr. B: Cloud, Tifa, care to explain why youβre smiling like fools at each other instead of taking notes?
Tifa: Weβre justβ¦ really enjoying this lesson.
Cloud: [blushing furiously, tries to cover his face with his textbook]
#cloti
Tifa: You didnβt have to wait for me, you know.
Cloud: [shrugging] Didnβt want you to walk alone.
Tifa: [smiling shyly] β¦You're kind of my favorite person.
Cloud: [blushing furiously] Oh. Uh. Cool. Coolcoolcool.
#cloti