Crab Jesus.

I can cook anything, absolutely anything. I can learn it all.

But dont you EVER ask me to cook rice, on the stove top. Minute,calorose,jasmine,basmati. Does not matter it ALL turns out the same, crunchy and soggy.

Spank my ass and tongue my fart box.

Pros:
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Cons:

-built like the lorax.
-lorax build
-baked bean.

"I'm not a naked mole rat, I HAVE BANGS"

The possibilities of a squirrel killing you are low, but never zero

Im glad you enjoyed it! 💕

"Hey mum, I made ypu candybis"

Hey Adrienne, Here at #Spotify we noticed you are going through it. Now you can combine your two main sad Playlist for a seamless breakdown.

princess fairy frog cake, for a princess fairy frog girl, @chuuna-moe.bsky.social

Ask me about my hemorrhoids

Flash thought, what if a wasp attacks your buthole.

Am i made out of bugs?

Ever manifest a weed whacker?

I went for a smoke and locked myself out of my house at 5am
....
No one in my house wakes up earlier than noon.

What a time to be alive, I made 25 dollars for armpit pictures.

Yesterday I found out someone stole my wagon from my yard.
Today I found my wagon in someone else's yard.

And stole the cunt back.
(I know its mine because it has the makeup in the front pocket that was there when it was stolen)

"I dont think I should go through with saying this.......watercooler"

What about a watercooler?

"Wood"

Last year after a month of torment from the squirrels, I might have gone a little nuts, but it was well warranted.

"We're twins, bonded for life, we've got the same gazebo, gazebo buddies"

"Gazebros"

I'm starting to think these jumping spider "attacks" aren't a coincidence anymore.
I think they work for the squirrels.

I really just got cat called by someone on an electric scooter.

The smallest little strawberries.

The dandelions in my backyard that have grown to about half my size.

I bet your asking, did you find out where it was coming from?
You bet your ass is did as i slowly turn the corner down a more silent aisle. I realize the sound has followed me. I exit the url* and see the video I nutted to staring me in the face. Still playing.
Awful.

Today while I was in Michael's i pulled out my phone to search for an item in Michael's.
I pop open my browser and click the ugly to start typing. Thats when I hear fairly loud porn playing. And I think man that's gotta be embarrassing.

It's a photo of me, hiding trash bins with my body.

Strategically places body in front of trash bins and calls it art.

Senshi the cat sitting on my folded blankets, like he's helped fold them.

Senshi "helping" me fold the laundry.

The first video of squirrel war 2. Let me.look to see if I can find the videos from last year.