Bakers Old Treehouse

My new cookbook will be titled
2 Minutes in a Microwave.

It's ok, its not locked.

#WhenLifeSucks and gives you lemons make straws and lemonade.

#ThingsThatIUseOften are now worn out 🙁

Sweet.

I’m starting to think that snow geese don’t care that I hate them.

I think are being over generous with that comment.

In Futurama, the "Church of Trek" is a fictional, fanatical religion based on Star Trek that caused the "Star Trek Wars," leading to the show being banned and its tapes exiled to Omega 3. Featured in "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" (S4, E11), it highlights obsessive fandom where followers worship the original cast.

I guess you could say I’m religious

Thanks 🧙🧙🧙

a person with a star on the bottom left ALT: a person with a star on the bottom left

#BehindEveryGreatWitch is a deformity but that’s just a hunch.

On #SundayIRelaxAnd do nothing, and then my wife wakes up and that's the end of that!

Thanks 😄😄😄

a painting of a man with a beard and the words i did that above him ALT: a painting of a man with a beard and the words i did that above him

On #SundayIRelaxAnd watch humans ruin 6 days of hard work.

#SundayIRelaxAnd walk around the house in my pants and socks.

a woman is making a surprised face and saying i showed them ! ALT: a woman is making a surprised face and saying i showed them !

My two youngest argued all morning about who should use the washing machine first today. It’s now 3:30 pm and no laundry has been done by either of them so I’ve just put an old T-Shirt in and set it to pre wash, allergen wash and extra rinse which apparently takes 3hrs 46mins.

a black and white photo of a man sitting in front of a tv that says tvland classic ALT: a black and white photo of a man sitting in front of a tv that says tvland classic

I remember when weekends used to be fun. Now I use Saturday to recover from the previous five days and Sunday to prepare for the next five.

a dog with a stick in its mouth is standing in front of a door with the petcollective written on it ALT: a dog with a stick in its mouth is standing in front of a door with the petcollective written on it

#DivaPetDemands
I’m keeping the stick, you widen the door!

Thanks 😆😆😆

a cartoon of spongebob holding a pencil and writing on a piece of paper ALT: a cartoon of spongebob holding a pencil and writing on a piece of paper

#WhyIForgotAboutTheAnniversary
I was preoccupied with trying to remember what it was I forgot this time last year.

When urinating #IStandWith Dick

Raising a lentil #ElevatesMyPulse

My wife thinks I’m helping out when I set the table but I only do it so I get the good steak knife.

#TheLastBusHomeOnSaturdayNight the driver liked to have a little fun.

#TheLastBusHomeOnSaturdayNight used to come just before last orders at the pub so the decision was always one more beer and a 4 mile walk home or run for the bus and miss your last drink.

10am. #WhatIWontDoInPublic Get drunk or naked.
4pm..

😂

Is this a wind up?

a one hundred dollar bill with a woman on it ALT: a one hundred dollar bill with a woman on it

#WhenYouDontHaveSmallChange I blame big Bill.

a woman sitting on a bench with the words i got to pee written on the bottom ALT: a woman sitting on a bench with the words i got to pee written on the bottom

#WhenYouDontHaveSmallChange it makes it hard to spend a penny.

😀