Lemon 🇨🇦 💙

Why, who you gonna tell? 🤔

Announcer: this program is intended for mature audiences

Me: *waving my bubble wand* well, I'm out

I woke up to like 100 notifications and I dreamed I posted my boobs so I was like oh shit, did I? NyQuil is strong stuff my friends.

“Buzz off”, “take a hike”, and “get real” all come from the same place spiritually

Since I hate gravy, it's the sluttier, better cousin who isn't a fuck boi and won't give me an STI.

And yes, you can be slutty but not a fuck boi.

A more accurate statement has never been made.

This was my first attempt but it was a good one.

I'd probably fry it longer next time, add more bacon and leave the garlic unitl the end...

Having said that, holy shit, they were delicious.

Airfried brussels sprouts with bacon, feta and hot honey.

It's 9am and I just made airfry brussel sprouts with bacon, feta and hot honey...

here's something cool: the son of the letter carrier on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood (McFeely) is a real letter carrier for the USPS and he's our letter carrier and he's awesome

My unpopular opinion: those of us advocating for non-car travel need to stop apologetically saying "I know not everybody can cycle!" Obviously not everyone can cycle, but that's also true of driving. I fear we're just giving our opponents' attack lines legitimacy by shouting them out for free

I have to stop with the Fibonacci jokes. I wrote one. Then another one. Then two in a row. Then another three...

after the sandwich thrower gets acquitted it’s gonna be hoagie hunting season on the feds right, like this is obvious right

🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.

I'll never forget my dad's last words: "It's way past Halloween. Why's this caution tape still on the elevator?"

BREAKING: Former VP Dick Cheney Dies to Spend More Time Accidentally Shooting People in Hell

There really isn't...

Don't ask me for advice. I have a favorite serial killer.

I actually feel a little sorry for Mike Johnson. Before he became Speaker only a handful of people knew what a smarmy little idiot he was. Now, several hundred million people know.

This isn't for me but the person is picky AF and this is one of the only ones they've liked (the other one is the other picture obv) so now I'm trying to make sure I get the right one because they're expensive.

The term my friend uses is "cozy, thick, grandfather-esque cardigan"

They actually use some sort of special wood. Faux it is not... I can't find the note I had with the details.

Imagine a cobra out in the wild, starving and pissed, then he hears a flute and goes, "Damn, that’s my jam!"

I have a tablet at the front desk that refuses to work with the charger it came with and it constantly has an error message and it just feels like I relate too much. My body also doesn't work well with the equipment it came with, Lil Tablet, I get it

Navy blue Scottish cardigan with shawl collar

Navy blue Scottish cardigan with shawl collar and wood buttons.

I'm trying to pick between these two nearly identical, similarly priced, well rated cardigans.

What do you all think?

Seems not entirely accurate but 🤷🏻‍♀️. Thank you!

I REALLY WANNA KNOW ABOUT THE BEANS!

And you guys got barely anything for your covid stimulus checks...

Your govt has ALWAYS trained you all to be happy with less than the bare minimum.

How does explain the QT?

OH GOOD the management at my storage unit turned Lite FM back on a couple weeks ago and it’s already on Christmas music.

I don’t even play whamageddon or whatever because I LIKE Last Christmas, but: it’s November 4th. I shouldn’t hear Last Christmas on Election Day

rip dick cheney, you wouldve loved the illegal war in south america we’re about to start

hug your war criminals a little tighter today