Low Quality Facts

Stop signs are octagonal to symbolize the eight year jail sentence a driver can receive for failing to obey one.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

A vibrant sticker on a textured lime-green fabric background. The sticker features a pink paint bucket pouring neon green slime over a pink circle. Black text on the green slime reads, "THE WORLD NEEDS MORE WEIRDOS!" The bucket is decorated with a yellow smiley face that has stars for eyes.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this The World Needs More Weirdos Sticker. The good kind of weirdos, not the bad kind. More Daniel Radcliffes, less Elon Musks.
collabs.shop/umempn

Black boxes on planes are actually bright orange because the person who invented them was colorblind.

That makes sense.

Very impressive.

"If God wanted us to be sober at church then he wouldn't have invented scotch. " -George Clooney

Hard to argue with that.

Alan Shepard lost his wallet on the moon, and attempted a mutiny to make the rocket turn back so he could retrieve it.

Losing your wallet sucks.

That explains a lot.

Propaganda used to be spelled propoganda, but an extensive propaganda campaign convinced everyone that it's spelled propaganda.

A charcoal grey t-shirt featuring a manga-style girl with spiral eyes and text reading YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this You are Not Immune to Propaganda shirt. Literally no one in this world is immune to propaganda. Not a single person. Anyone who thinks that propaganda doesn't affect them is not as smart as they believe they are. Except for me, of course.
collabs.shop/lskonw

Doritos are legally classified as "decorative sculptures" so that the chips can circumvent FDA regulation.

What a loophole.

That's so fascinating.

That's so scary.

People from Oregon are called Oregoons.

Obviously.

I hope the Grim Reaper stays busy this year, but not too busy. Just the right kind of busy.

A plush Grim Reaper toy with a stylized, angry skull face, wearing a black hooded robe with red trim and holding a small grey scythe. A person's hand holds the plush in front of a background of white pillar candles.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Grim Reaper Plush Toy. I know death can be sad, but please don't get mad at the Grim Reaper for doing his job. If it weren't for him, Henry Kissinger would still be here today.
collabs.shop/8z9nhw

Pineapples are often confused with pine-apples, which are apples that grow on pine trees.

I've mixed them up more than once.

A black and white tuxedo cat sits on a wooden floor, resting its front paws on a wavy cardboard scratcher. The cat has a white chest, white paws, and a distinctive white patch on its face. In the background, a white wire cart holds various jars and boxes of pet food.

Fishy turned his scratchy board into a seesaw.

1 Lawyer: Your honor, let the record show that Mercury was in retrograde when my client stole the vehicle. 2 Judge: I do not see how that is relevant. 3 Lawyer: Such a Scorpio.

We made a comic about a trial.

NASCAR drivers receive a special license that allows them to speed on public roads.

That seems fair.

Trump says he must have a role in choosing Iran's next leader, which means we are approximately three news cycles away from him posting an insanely racist AI video of Kid Rock in a turban sitting on a golden throne in the desert.

Q: How much salami is too much salami?

A: That is for your cat to decide.

A circular enamel pin featuring a chubby orange tabby cat biting into a salami against a light blue starry background.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Little Treat Pin.

Q: Can cats have a little salami?
A: Yes, as a treat.
Q: But isn't that cat eating a lot of salami?
A: Shut up. Shut your mouth.
collabs.shop/syxczu

Africa is the only continent that touches both the North and South Poles.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

I've always suspected as much.

Reply to one of my posts by Tim saying "that made me laugh. I don't laugh much."

From now on, anytime someone asks me why I put so much time and effort into this arguably dumb account, I will simply tell them that I do it for Tim.

Plastic water bottles have expiration dates because water begins to rot if left sitting for a few months.

Rot water tastes as bad as it sounds.

I really hate printers so I am hoping this pattern will make me think twice about taking out my wallet and I'll spend less money.

A slim bifold wallet featuring a graphic design of a CMYK printer test sheet. Four vertical stripes in cyan, magenta, yellow, and black dominate the center, surrounded by a white border with registration marks, color calibration scales, and technical file text.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this CMYK Color Bar Mighty Wallet. I just thought you guys might enjoy this wallet inspired by a CMYK printer test sheet because I know many of you are huge fucking nerds (complimentary).
collabs.shop/ymapos

cleopatra lived closer in time to the extinction of the dinosaurs than she did to the building of the pyramids.

That blows my mind.

BREAKING NEWS: When asked by a reporter if he is qualified to lead the Department of Homeland Security, Markwayne Mullin replied "I understand your concern. It's true, I have never shot a dog. But I do believe I could kill one with my bare hands, and I am willing to prove this if given the chance."