Becca Barnes

Yeah this + nobody really told me exercise wouldn't always be painful if I just did it a tad more often, and by that I mean, ever 😅

Then walking out of the bathroom and finding a digger sticker on your bed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Toddler parenting is stepping out of the shower and having 2x dump-truck stickers put on your feet less than 5 seconds later

Me: my cat is a cute little teeny-tiny itty-bitty furball

also me, more than once now: quick, she brought in another rat and this one's still alive!

Aucklanders today

Freelance work weeks are so weird. I knocked out a ton on Saturday night at 11pm and now I get to spend Monday morning at the gym with an audiobook 🤷🏻‍♀️

(Please note that I love him so much and find him very cute and funny 😂)

I need to use the bathroom but I cannot risk leaving the room in case the toddler Eye of Sauron lands on me

It is my agreed parental break hour. The cat and I are hiding in the bedroom while the toddler tries to climb in here through a cat flap.

Screenshot of a TradeMe auction for 2 dinosaur fossils found by the iconic Dr Joan Wiffen

Are my fellow nerds aware of this TradeMe auction?! I want itttttt

(I am drinking a coffee and sneakily eating a protein bar from my bag, nobody tell on me)

If you're considering leaving the house today just know that the cafe I'm at is selling a bowl of hot chips for $17.82 (!!!!) and eggs benedict for $32 🙃

Anyway Foqos is free and the NFC tags were $12 so I highly recommend it for anyone wanting a phone break.

Also, fuck ICE.

I now use an app called Foqos, which is linked to an NFC tag on my fridge. I have to physically walk to the tag to block or unblock apps or websites and omg it has been so good. A huge sleep improver.

At the moment I feel the need to always ingest awful global news in order to stay informed, but also to take doomscrolling breaks. I mused on getting that Brick product to brick my phone when needed, but found something cheaper..

The BeerSpot that was due to open in New Lynn has taken down its signage making that the second brewery in our area I’ve been excited about that has died before ever opening 🙃

Finished a massive book draft project so I am going to reward myself with a nice, relaxing, gruesome murder documentary.

Cool can we also bring back skinny jeans now plz

Did Signal voices messages break for anyone else here after the unwanted iPhone update?

Eww my iPad updated and now it looks like it was made in Microsoft Word Art 1999

I took the 22 month old to do a supermarket run alone and now I need to lie in a dark room alone for 2 hours 😵‍💫 😂

I currently have:
- An impressive fat lip from an accidental toddler headbutt
- big knee bruise from kneeling on a toddler toy
- A BITE MARK on my arm from a toddler who didn’t want to get in the car

Parenting is not for the weak

Writing peppy children's content while occasionally reading grim Trump news is a real weird brain place to exist in atm

After 22 months of singing to my toddler before putting him to bed, tonight I started and he looked up at me and said “Song? Mama song?” 🥰

We should all just admit that we suck at picking ripe vegetables in our gardens because we don’t like plants telling us what to do

While the weather is bad I will just do some nice relaxing baking with the toddler

[cue the least relaxing 25 mins of my life]

You are at the beach and go to the public toilets. Do you pick:
a) the blocked toilet
b) the one with the door that won’t lock
or
c) this one

Me, Jan 1 2016, rottenly hungover: i just want to go to bed

Me Jan 1 2026, a toddler parent: i just want to go to bed

May 2026 bring that thing that most of the world wants

Sorry but I won’t be celebrating New Year’s until my household runs out of delicious Christmas treats because that’s the only time I can set an intention to be healthier 🤷🏻‍♀️