Birds Are Dinosaurs 🦢=🦖

Every now and then something reminds me that Inside Job was cancelled and I get angry all over again

The scene from Terminator 2 where the Terminator is pretending to be John Connor on the phone because he's pretty sure John's foster parents were killed by the other Terminator. (They had been)

You can never be too careful. I start every phone call by asking why Wolfie is barking.

It's simple: we treat every human interaction like the other person might be infected by the Thing. That's why whenever Dearest Husband comes home from work or errands, I poke a fresh blood sample with a hot wire and vice versa.

If you don't get caught, who can say whether you broke the Prime Directive?

Gimli and Treebeard from the Lord of the Rings movies. They're, like, the same dude but one is a tree

Whoa, have you ever noticed how much Treebeard looks and sounds just like Gimli? That's crazy. Gandalf has to have noticed, right?

I bet one time the Fellowship was sharing some Longbottom Leaf and then Gandalf was like, "Gimli, bro, you look just like this tree I know."

Don't be ridiculous. I wasn't being tormented by a capricious god, no one got assimilated by the Borg, and no daddy issues were resolved.

Michael Dorn's opponent in the race was also named Michael Dorn. We called that guy Other Dorn.

We also worked together on Michael Dorn's campaign for the US Senate. This was unrelated to the time travel thing.

Had an amazing dream last night where I was best friends with Patrick Stewart and we went on time travel adventures together.

“Jack-o-lantern”

👁️👄👁️

A photo of a Halloween-themed bucket set in front of a house with a cardboard sign that reads "***ONE*** SLURP OF LIVE GAGH PER TRICK-OR-TREATER". The sign is handwritten, except where "live gagh" has been photoshopped in with a sans serif font. The bucket has also been photoshopped to be full of live gagh.

Remember kids, stay safe out there tonight.

#StarTrek #HappyHalloween

If I were Gowron, son of M'Rel, I simply would avoid getting stabbed to death by Worf. An elementary error that seems easy to avoid.

Hire me

I think I have what it takes. I can yell really loud, I look good in shoulder pads, and acquaintances often remark on my crazy eyes

Thinking of starting a new career as Gowron. I understood the position has been vacant for a while and the benefits seem great.

Final results:

All teams played hard, but Nerds soundly defeated the competition.

Wizard: What are you?

Me: Maleficent, mistress of evil. Take a candy.

Wizard: [carefully selects three different flavors of Nerds]

Update: the sun is down and the kids only have eyes for the Nerds

So far the Nerds are very popular among older children. Younger children are making more well rounded selections, balanced between gummies and chocolate

I'm running it back! For SCIENCE 🧪

In honor of Halloween, my favorite essay in the philosophy of candy:

200proofliberals.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-...

This is the first movie I've seen all week that didn't end with the villain exploding in a glitterbomb.

The curse has been broken.

I'm glad someone wrote a blank check to get this made. I'm angry that someone was Netflix.

Sea Captain: Dear God, man. What happened to you?

Frankenstein: I shall tell you my grim tale. It begins with my father, who hated me and I him...

Guillermo del Toro read the book and that made him unstoppable. It's amazing more filmmakers haven't tried it before.

The poster for Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein. The monster looks large in the foreground, his back turned to us. He stands in a frozen landscape, surrounded by snow. In the distance, a wooden ship is frozen still in the ice. "Only monsters play god."

Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein is marvelous, delivering both poetry and spectacle in equal measure. It's the rare adaptation that understands the central theme of Shelley's novel: daddy issues.

There are four of them because they hunt using pack tactics

The Washington Nationals mascots are 15 feet tall and already have a habit of chasing their prey around the baseball diamond as entertainment during breaks between innings

They do not need a weapon to hunt you. The last thing you see will be Teddy Roosevelt's teeth

“Tricker trees” 1/2