Exigency

#campaignwhereu Checked your emails and... broke your leg. Honestly probably shouldn't be using that particular critical failure table in a modern-day setting but maybe we can work with this. The conspiracy clearly involves an executable that breaks your legs when you click on it #ttrpg #tabletop

#campaignwhereu Abandon all hope. There's no point. Hah nah I'm messing with you, you're level 20 now. Go fuck shit up! Find the broken combinations. Use gods as your punching bag they have it coming. Use your rules lawyering for good for once. Change the world #dnd #rpg #ttrpg #tabletop

#campaignwhereu Burn the ice golem! Easy win... oh, wait, it was actually a mithril golem with badly frozen joints. So now it's much faster. Its damage-per-round is absurd wow that's a lot of dice. Does anyone have any frost spells to re-freeze this thing

#campaignwhereu Discover a lovely island. It's a paradise. Everyone wants to be your friend. You feel really bad that you're on the run from the Total Bastard Syndicate and that they're going to find this place

#campaignwhereu Land on a resort world that went dark. In between bio-engineering dragons and elves, one of the scientists may have accidentally invented magic and now there's a little war over whether she's a god or not. Is this still technically LARPing #rpg #ttrpg #tabletop #scifi

#campaignwhereu Found a loophole. You're right: rules as written, you can add *dozens* of d4s to your Flurry attack. But if you go that route I'll backdate all that enemy Flurry damage that I didn't apply either. Do you think you can tank that? Do you feel lucky? Do you have the CON #rpg #ttrpg #dnd

#campaignwhereu Activate the psi-dampener, and send the aliens fleeing in terror. They're helpless without psionics! One little side effect, you also stripped away the psychic disguises used by the society of creatures humans have been calling "cats" #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Need to stop being so defeatist about medieval fantasy! It's a rich and varied period rife with inspiration. I mean *this* campaign isn't like that, it's just something I threw together with Vikings and a dragon, but it *could've* been really unique and cool #ttrpg #rpg #tabletop

#campaignwhereu Navigate a justice system where they try to raise murder victims from the dead and, if successful, all charges are dropped. Not so much because the murder was undone but because only the evil can be resurrected. They want out of hell and the good refuse to leave heaven #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Heal the dragon! Her vertebrae pop back into place and months of agonising pain are gone in a flash. She's unbelievably grateful. Your "healer" was a actually a monk trying to use Quivering Palm to explode the dragon's innards but why spoil a good thing #ttrpg #tabletop #rpg #dnd

#campaignwhereu Notice the drones getting cuter. If they're harmless beepy things, people are loath to shoot the enemy's maintenance robots. So corporations even started making their saboteur drones look fluffy! This one is pushing beakers off a table ah hang on that might just be a cat #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Track down the rogue time agent. He surrounded his castle with neon pink knights and commissioned an obscene statue next to a sign saying "over here, Time Agency assholes". Just a hunch, but something tells you that Baron von Dudemeister wanted to be found #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Mugged the Sahuagin ambassador. Why? What on earth compelled you to endanger the peace treaty with the followers of Sekolah? Everything's going to get worse now that you jumped the shark #dnd #rpg #tabletop #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Must return the sacred eye. You assumed the priests meant a gem or a freaky artifact of some kind but no, apparently the bard lost a silly bet and had to steal part of a sign. Put short, you can't let the clerics find out that he's the one who defaced the Arise Temple #ttrpg #rpg

#campaignwhereu Move the Earth to safety. It's time for Sol to go supernova, so the authorities agreed to attach engines to Earth and push her towards a new star. And then the Cabal attacks. Of course the planet has no weaponry, and so— what the hell do you mean "ramming speed" #ttrpg #tabletop #rpg

#campaignwhereu Got it wrong. I'm not recycling an old campaign. You're thinking of the Quest for the Magic Orb. This is the Quantum Sphere Mission, an entirely different plot with an entirely different cast. Now hand the nanites to Dr. Wyh'zhrd and continue the ritual. I mean experiment #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Hoodwinked the cult. You didn't bring them a demon, that's a gorilla! The silverback awoke to dyed red fur with taped-on antlers and long story short the gorilla thrashed the cultists. I have no idea how you managed to pull this off. Also the gorilla gets all the XP #dnd #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Investigate the Scorn. They believe "gods" to be mere psionic parasites, leeching the faith of the masses. They also claim to have already killed the God of the Night. Which you would've thought an obvious lie, if not for the fact that it's been Tuesday for 33 hours #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Use your "Legendary Knowledge" feat in an unexpected fashion. It lets you declare the result of any Knowledge roll. You declare a 1. This means you can tell history's most famous mage that you genuinely have no idea who he is and all his lie-detecting spells confirm it #ttrpg #rpg

#campaignwhereu Ran afoul of the Chronofiend, a terrifying supervillain with mastery over time itself. He went back in time to murder your parents and... they killed him. Easily, by all accounts. So in this new timeline your elderly parents rule the world. How the hell did that happen #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Fight your time-travelling future selves. The future-rogue is kicking ass so your past-rogue, in a moment of inspiration, chops his own hand off! And his future self… now has an automaton hand. It's mithril. It fires Radiant beams. It grants +2 STR. Well now you're f #dnd #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Tamper with wanted posters! Pressed for time, you simply add a zero. Ingenious! The guilds assume the party is too dangerous: a threat justifying a 1M reward is beyond their skill. Unfortunately some lvl 20 demigods decide 1M is worth coming out of retirement for #dnd #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Died dishonourably. Your killers were NOT great warriors (they pulled a lever, and a catapult crushed you) so you're doomed to roam the lands forever. But there's a technicality: nobody said they had to be great warriors *at the time*. Haunt them until they become legends #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Brought back the dragon's head… still attached to the dragon. The queen is awkwardly polite. In turn the dragon starts feeling really bad about raiding her lands. Anyway long story short the two of them are getting married. Okay back up surely we missed a step #dnd #rpg #tabletop

#campaignwhereu Put a lot of ranks into Disguise. And you want to disguise someone other than yourself? Sure, but the DC will be higher. Oh you intend to disguise this huge keg of gunpowder as the king? You know what, don't even roll. Crit success. I want to see what comes next #rpg #dnd #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Try an indie RPG #tabletop #ttrpg #rpg

#campaignwhereu Prove that the Ogathaq Cult is a mere front for an arms company seeking to profit from heightened tensions. Well, that won't do. Through a great deal of effort you summon the real Ogathaq so that there's an *actual* eldritch magical threat to fight. Wait you did what #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Go to jail for a crime that you didn't commit but (purportedly) would have committed in another timeline. You're locked up in a fortress between universes. When the Time Police correct temporal loops and the like there's always collateral: in this case, you. Retconvicts #rpg #ttrpg

#campaignwhereu Try being a butterfly instead of a bird. It's a massive downgrade in terms of attribute scores but you'll be happier trust me

Shrink! You're tiny! The mage responsible watches you all struggle against a handful of ants and laughs so hard and so long that he drops dead. Now you'll have to break out of the lab and collect the cure's reagents from the garden. This will take you several months