Happy birthday! It has been one year since Burger Bard launched our new social media. Do you remember having a birthday party at Burger Bard? If so, who put that memory there?
14.12.2025 20:13 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A Burger Bard Crystalectrics game. A plastic LCD handheld. It is the "treasure hunt" game, either Halmon's Egg Hunt or the Bard's Burger Hunt
It's true, @difegue.tvc-16.science made the software for this!
21.10.2025 21:23 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I helped out a little bit on the software for this!
If you liked the Sonic McDonalds LCD recreations, you might enjoy it.
These are fun! And there's DEFINITELY nothing strange going on with the accompanying comic if you scroll up.
20.10.2025 22:36 — 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
This comic, of course, marks a collaboration with the then-popular French LCD handheld games company Crystalectrics.
Nineteen handheld LCD video games were designed, and were available in six basic shapes.
Programming for this PC version is by @difegue.tvc-16.science
archive.org/details/burg...
(Note: The text of this comic is not entirely accurate to what was published in the early 2000s. It has been translated to French and back again, with creative license taken. We hesitate to publish what amounts to fanfiction, but have not yet been able to acquire an accurate English script.)
20.10.2025 21:12 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
KING BEAREON: There are none alive who would remember it, but once upon a time, your favorite King was a varsity athlete. I've slowed down over the years but I've still got it. Like the old days. Catching the pigskin and breaking hearts. HALMON EGGS: I found an egg! HONEY HASH BRUIN: Heartbreak is as inevitable as the tides. yet I cannot believe we were meant to carry the weight of a human soul alone. My only crime is that I loved too much. But that was crime enough. I’ll be punished by love til the moon and sun fall from the sky. HALMON EGGS: I found another egg! TACO SAL: Hell of a game to play as an alcoholic. Feel like I'm shooting my own demons. Turns out I haven’t lost my aim. Wait. Something’s wrong. It’s like a dream. We live on the eggshell edge of a dream. There’s a man watching from the window, in the armor of a medieval ... CAPTION: There's 19 exciting Crystalectrics LCD handheld sports games you can play on the go! Collect them all in six designs and a variety of fun colors. But hurry! When they’re gone they’re gone forever!
Burger Bard Crystalectrics Sports Games (3/3)
![GLOOMY WOLF: Nyahuhuhoo! My creation is a slam dunk! One does like to be keeping in shape. And dear Beefenschtein, if you can be stopping me getting the ball in the ball basket, oh let's say I'll buy you a toy.
BEEFENSCHTEIN: PONY.
GLOOMY WOLF: You have enough with the ponies.
BAT MAGIC: The Chicken Witch is a deadly foe,
but there's one thing she doesn't know.
Into this vent I'll throw a heater,
Fireballs hot enough to defeat her.
The fate of the kingdom is at stake
but methinks we'll have a chicken bake.
CHICKEN WITCH: [A weakness of the magic crowd: We say our secret plans out loud.]
FRENCHIE: I dunno about the fate of the kingdom. I just like to play volleyball, and hope everyone has fun. no need for politics.
CURLY: And you're the greatest person alive. But women playing sports is political. Under patriarchy. Because some men need to feel superior to all women.
VIBES: Radically political, dudes! New Yolk City can be a dangerous place. Doesn't make sense. Why are there giant spiked balls everywhere? And I collect trophies? Can I have soda instead? nice cold bevvy.
CAPTION: Soda Get!](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:mxd3axvnrhmqzaahmcjb73xl/bafkreiahkpxfvtj2ua4g4o2e7bjqetqacvcmpsem7brmkxi4uo3yhrihre@jpeg)
GLOOMY WOLF: Nyahuhuhoo! My creation is a slam dunk! One does like to be keeping in shape. And dear Beefenschtein, if you can be stopping me getting the ball in the ball basket, oh let's say I'll buy you a toy. BEEFENSCHTEIN: PONY. GLOOMY WOLF: You have enough with the ponies. BAT MAGIC: The Chicken Witch is a deadly foe, but there's one thing she doesn't know. Into this vent I'll throw a heater, Fireballs hot enough to defeat her. The fate of the kingdom is at stake but methinks we'll have a chicken bake. CHICKEN WITCH: [A weakness of the magic crowd: We say our secret plans out loud.] FRENCHIE: I dunno about the fate of the kingdom. I just like to play volleyball, and hope everyone has fun. no need for politics. CURLY: And you're the greatest person alive. But women playing sports is political. Under patriarchy. Because some men need to feel superior to all women. VIBES: Radically political, dudes! New Yolk City can be a dangerous place. Doesn't make sense. Why are there giant spiked balls everywhere? And I collect trophies? Can I have soda instead? nice cold bevvy. CAPTION: Soda Get!
Burger Bard Crystalectrics Sports Games (2/3)
20.10.2025 21:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
BURGER BARD: Whew, slow down old chum! This isn't a race. KOLA BEAR: Haven't you heard? Everybody's racing to Burger Bard to try the new Crystalectrics sports games! BURGER BARD: Okay but you've got to warn me in advance about these things. I'm the face of the brand and I can't be seen lagging behind. I had two hamburgers and I feel like I'm going to throw up. KOLA BEAR: Delicious Burger Bard hamburgers are a healthy way to start your day! BURGER BARD: They're really not. Unless you dismiss the idea entirely that some foods are healthier than others. KOLA BEAR: I can! BURGER BARD: You need to get your calories either way. We're built to seek out high calorie foods. It's filling, it's something to eat, it's fine. We’ll cut this part out. Good ad read though. KOLA BEAR: Thanks! I live for your approval! BURGER BARD: Unhealthy but honest. Why do I have three arms?
Burger Bard Crystalectrics Sports Games
20.10.2025 21:08 — 👍 7 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 0
GLOOMY WOLF: Nyahuhuhoo! At fast my lastest creation comes to horrible life! The Lyco-motive! Fast as a silver bullet, a motorized monster on four wheels. I'm feeling the necessity for velocity! BEEFENSCHTEIN: Speed. GLOOMY: You always know the right words to say. VIBES: Rise and slime, slowpokes. DJ Vibes and Honey Hash Bruin are playing the hits and coming right at you with this sporty little number that's got more horse power and girl power than anything else on the road. The Rose Roadstar. HONEY: We were calling it The Pink Princess. VIBES: Til I came up with something cooler. HONEY: You should respect my wishes. Bears used to rule this land. VIBES: Did you race cars back then? HONEY: All we did was race cars. VIBES: Hot.
HALMON EGGS: How do you like them rotten apples? Are we just gonna stand here and let the dames win? KING BEAREON: Quite possibly. I'm thinking about it. Over the years I learned it's wise to let the lady win once in awhile. As long as she knows who she's coming home with. HALMON: Well, you can't beat a classic. Like the Limousina Legendaria. No modern safety features. Drive in style, drive fast and dangerously. CURLY: Frenchie, my dearest companion, I don't want to seem impulsive and forward, but there's something I've wanted to ask you for awhile.* FRENCHIE: Oh Curly, you shy and unimpulsive fool! Of course I'll race cars with you in our Bunny Buggy. A new twist on a favorite!* FRENCHIE: We hear there’s a golden prize! Wouldn’t that be nice?*
BAT MAGIC: My next performance just requires one high powered engine and four new tires. Whether right-side-up, or upside-down, the Magic Machine's the fastest car in town. CHICKEN WITCH: (I'll steal this car and win the race with magic! I'm not sure how this advances my political goals but it's something to do.) BAT MAGIC: (Methinks this witch is not so bright. You know that I can see you, right?) BURGER BARD: What a wondiferous lineup of autobomiles! And the best and most popularrific is my very own Cheeseburger Coupe! I’m sure that I will win this race, but who will take home second place? KOLA BEAR: Everybody wins, when you get one toy free in every Burger Bard Feast Meal! There's six cars to collect, with pull back and go action and two different drivers! Including me, Kola Bear! You get a kingly delight in every bite of Burger Bard original hamburgers! BURGER BARD: That's my line.
(Six cars are racing on an asphalt track. Gloomy Wolf in the Lyco-motive, Vibes in the Rose Roadstar, King Artemel Beareon in the Limousina Legendaria, the Burger Bard in the Cheeseburger Coupe, Frenchie in the Bunny Buggy, and the Chicken Witch in the Magic Machine ... They are close together but are currently "winning" in that order.)
Burger Bard: Race Cars
24.07.2025 20:32 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Issue Ten of ARG Digest Magazine. Burger Bard is featured in a two-page spread.
Issue Ten of ARG Digest Magazine. Burger Bard is featured in a two-page spread, titled "Burger Bard Behind the Scenes." Illustrations include Burger Bard, Curly and Frenchie, Vibes and the Chicken Witch.
12.05.2025 16:04 — 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0A little bit delayed due to the printing process/setup, but the new mag is about to drop. I hope you all enjoy it.
25.04.2025 18:43 — 👍 8 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
The New ARG Digest is now live. Read it for free on our website, ARGdigest.com, or buy a print copy to keep physical media alive.
Thank you to @lauraehall.bsky.social and @jeyb.bsky.social The feature of this issue.
Could we discuss something via DM?
03.03.2025 02:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0^ this one gets it
02.03.2025 08:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0there is no escape I'm sorry
22.02.2025 21:05 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0(commenting)
07.02.2025 05:10 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
HALMON EGGS: Ground control to space station Ark. There's been a fuel leak. Five astronauts are stranded in space. I've missed a hot breakfast and the cosmonauts keep calling me "comrade." We can't afford any miscalculation. HONEY HASH BRUIN: We can't afford any what? HALMON EGGS: Take the numbers, Miss Calculation. We're refueling, in space. Kola Bear, are you listening, or are you trying to drink orange juice in zero gravity? KOLA BEAR: Snerp? VIBES: Wow, far out!*
BURGER BARD: Another successful mission, gang! When we all work together, across the world, even the sky's not the limit! FRENCHIE: We could have died! ANNOUNCER (?): And you can refuel back on Earth with a Burger Bard Space Meal! Four space pods to collect in four different colors, with games and stickers! That's one small soft drink and fries, one great meal for mankind!
05.02.2025 20:59 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1?
29.01.2025 07:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0?
23.01.2025 22:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
We made some too!
archive.org/details/burg...
Burger Bard Big Book: Coloring & Activity
244 pages of fun!
archive.org/details/burg...
Comics, coloring pages, character bios, a word search, mazes, "find the difference," coupons and Nonogram puzzles.
I do not think they are professionals
18.12.2024 01:44 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0😿
18.12.2024 01:43 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0what has science done
17.12.2024 19:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0he is a good employee
15.12.2024 21:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0don't do that to yourself
15.12.2024 21:47 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0