not sticks🎀

i want uppies bruh

(forgetting the word for fondue) cheese wine hot pot

sometimes i hold my baby cats face like he’s a lil cigarette

Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.

life could be worse. i could be a crab in a seafood restaurant i suppose

the boys down at the station just told me you’ve just yapped your last yap

forgot i was wearing headphones and i just sighed so hard in the back of this uber

bali prison probably goes crazy

i’m going to put you in the dryer and make you spin really really fast

Dire gotta be my least favorite consequences

I have decided to become a cute little bug that everyone likes

The Lorax but he chain smokes the whole time he’s monologuing and litters the butts everywhere

ME [having any kind of experience]: I am not prepared for this and I need to lie down

i heard jersey mikes gives you pink eye is that true

chat clip that

i just moved to a new place and i think my cats are traveling through the walls and im not joking

floor time isn’t so much fun when you’re forced to have floor time

i would kill somebody for a bread bowl full of tomato soup holy shit

and some snacks

we’re v hungover but a coffee could fix us

woke up and looked at my cat and said, “you’re so lucky i adopted you. you woulda been cooooked. but i didn’t care”

just spanked the shit out of some pasta sauce what’s good

i bet lightning mcqueen would be such a whore if he was human

do you think every time a dog lays down it’s actually praying and that’s why All Dogs Go to Heaven?