Nicole DeWitt

afaict honkai impact 3rd has two types of men who play it: 1) men who think every member of an all-women warrior unit would be sexually attracted to them if they worked there, and 2) men who would dispose of the body if their lesbian daughter killed a man for talking shit about her girlfriend

“just bc my eyes naturally like to rest on her ass does not mean im saving her for lesbo reasons!! h-hey! im serious! stop laughing!”

she saves her bc female friendship is so important! any thoughts about how the top shes wearing today hugs her figure are purely tangential!!

average nicole protagonist

tuna

tuna

*standing slow-clap ovation*

did a single discounted 10-pull on the new honkai 3rd mei battlesuit and got her twice. obvi this is very good news and there is finally justice in the world, but also i feel a little like hoyos gambling algorithm itself is telling me ill never beat the tuna allegations

at this point whenever i see i guy say “we have to keep trans women out of womens restrooms to protect women from rape” i just assume he routinely sexually assaults women hes alone with

“we all agreed rape jokes are bad” was about lazy men using rape as a shocking punchline to dehumanize women in like tweets and standup routines

don’t use that same maxim to run around demanding survivors of abuse discuss what happened to them only in somber, sad reverence.

oh yeah theres also that lol. bunch of dudes running around playing their ultra mega masculine viking man named helen

I think of this often

let 👏 cristina 👏 vee 👏 be 👏 evil 👏

I used exogenous hormones to change my sex

guy who just described having symptoms of severe adhd: yeah so my brain is too advanced to read

the sheer deranged anger that Christina Vee voices Velvet Crowe. Thank you for your service hermana, you are forever a legend

shes so fucking good in the role its unreal

so true

honestly kinda surprised valhalla was able to make eivor canonically a woman *and* retroactively declare kassandra the canon odyssey protag. guess eivors Go Fuck Yourself energy really rubbed off on the devs during that cycle

origins, odyssey, valhalla all intended to have female protags (aya, kassandra, eivor). the result after ubisoft exec meddling?

origins: you play ayas husband

odyssey: choose gender, all marketing uses a man

valhalla: choose gender or let story decide (eivor is a woman), all marketing uses a man

her shouting “lets go a-viking!” when she sounds the raid horn on some poor unsuspecting christian house of worship stuffed to the brim with barely-defended gold lives rent free in my head

eivor is just too fucking hot to pass up on tbqh. she sails up rivers to raid monasteries. she steals her brothers wife the second hes not around. she does 9th century viking rap battles. she ruins the carefully laid out plans of ancient godlike narcissists. and that growl in her voice??? hnnng 🫦

no its unpossible!! as an incredible, accomplished, smoking hot woman kassandra is required to have a deeply mid baby daddy, so now shes canonically into fucking men with the personality of soggy lukewarm oatmeal oozing down a beige wall

bc many men wont touch things if they arent explicitly marketed as Manly Masculine Activities For Real Men, so you gotta lie and then pull the rug out from under them by making most of the story play out with the player character being a woman

like it isnt even a problem that needed solving! kassandra lived for thousands of years, they didnt need to specify when or how she had a child!

eivor is canonically a woman (as, it turns out, is the odyssey protag). theres the option to play as a man (gotta coddle men who dont want digital cooties after all!), but it is literally considered a data error in canon and doing so also cuts against eivors story arc in various ways

imo there are some openings for really interesting storytelling in there. which stories of the past get passed on and which are forgotten when people focus on the dna of descendants vs the dna from the remains of the actual people themselves? how is history being distorted by ignoring the childless?

not really. the wife of the origins protag was his descendent, but there was no real reason that had to be the case

i think valhalla was the first? iirc it was kind of a plot point that they developed the tech to do this so they werent dependent on finding direct descendants anymore

and also kassandra lives until like 2020! she couldve straight up waited until sperm banks existed and everything still wouldve worked out timeline-wise! there was absolutely no need to do the whole ordeal on screen, esp in a game where theyd touted that the player got to decide her sexuality

i am not actually opposed to a lesbian in 400bc going “yknow i want to have a baby and my options are limited” but they just didnt take it seriously, the guy was so fucking boring and unappealing, and then she yeeted her infant off to persia with his grandpa anyway so what the fuck was the point????