Burning Spice Quotes & Facts (PARODY)

“I snuck back into the Costco in Bismarck, North Dakota.”

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"This is not my proudest moment...

but 20 bucks IS 20 bucks"

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“Sponge bop…”

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“Spurning Bice’s havin a strurnk call the burnulance.”

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“If you start playing Christmas music several months early, I’ll shit down your chimney ”

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Fun Burning Spice Fact:

He will become very cuddly at the first signs of genuine affection

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“My son’s Soldier TF2 cosplay fucking sucks.”

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Fun Burning Spice Fact:

Whenever he's driving his Ford Pinto he will stop suddenly to get himself rear ended.

If you know anything about the Pinto you can figure out what happens next.

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"Nothing is eternal, and yet, I am...

Or so the Germans would have you believe!"

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“Idiot child detected!

Deploy the cans of lead paint!”

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“Touch my loaded tater tots again and you’ll be picking up your teeth with broken fingers.”

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Fun Burning Spice Fact:

While he still hasn’t been banned from the entirety of Florida

Yet

As of yesterday he has been banned from Brevard County for trying to lay siege to both West Melbourne and Palm Bay

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"I feel so sigm-awwww!

awww!

awwwwww!"

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Fun Burning Spice Fact:

He’s approximately 100 meters from your location and is approaching rapidly

Start running

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“I will love you and pet you and call you George.”

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"I may have made a fucky-wucky..."

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Fun Burning Spice Fact:

You can count the US states he’s NOT wanted in or banned from on one hand

Yes that does include Florida

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"I wonder if its not too late to get my old job back at Denny's..."

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"I know the Ford Pinto explodes when you rear end it!

Why did you think I bought one?!"

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"Compared to the sick fucks who came up with "Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew"... I'm a goddamn saint."

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“Mom come pick me up I’m scared.”

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“I’m going to say cuss words.”

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"I'm gonna gut you like the tuna you microwaved in the break room!"

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“Please leave all religious artifacts on your person at the front entrance.

Yes that includes vinyl figurines.”

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“Nothing is eternal…

but I know that won’t stop you from downing an entire 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew in the gas station bathroom with the door open.”

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“I will personally track down the owner of that eye-melting neon pink Volkswagen bus and BITCH SLAP THEM!”

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“Mixing the spices with crushed lead paint chips may /not/ have been my best idea.”

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“I’m back from my Kenosha trip.

I even got this neat t-shirt from the Mars Cheese Castle.”

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“I got kicked out of the Costco in Bismarck, North Dakota.”

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“Shadow Milk, this will be heartbreaking news but…

They’re beating your ass in the quote tweets.”

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